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Which of these girls would I choose?

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:09 pm

owenator wrote:Wolffy,

You're trapped on a deserted island. However, on this island with you, are:

a) A beautiful, sexy woman who could quite possibly have been a pornstar. Her only faults? She talks, even during sex. For example; she may throw out a random sentence such as, "why is the sky blue?" whilst doing the 'deed'. Wait, there's more! She has more hair than you do - like a wolf. ;) This hair by the way, cannot be cut/shaved by anything. :o
b) A very large woman, who quite honestly is the most hideous thing that you have ever seen. Get's along well - with anyone. But, she's intelligent. She also emits a smell more repulsive than vomit and sewage combined.
c) A woman who's in her late 50's but without any flaws...she's beautiful, witty, smart, and probably in better shape than girls half her age.

You come across a lamp and rub it, just to quench your curiosity to see if a genie would appear. And lo and behold! One does appear. The genie, is sick and tired of granting thousands of wishes and tells you, that you can get only 1 wish however it is filled with more conditional terms than a cellular phone contract. He advises that this wish is to allow you to leave the island to your destination of choosing. All of mankind has been wiped out. You can leave the island with only ONE of the three that are trapped with you. What do you do?

Owen

Very, very interesting question, Owenator, thanks for asking it. I'm sure that my answer may surprise you!

The answer is an easy one. I choose to NOT take the Genie's wish or to leave the island. I imagine that my intent is to jump-start the human race after the rest of mankind has been wiped out. Leaving the island with only one woman would eventually lead to an incestual and deformed existence of the human race (something kind of like we're looking at in the present day). I would need all three woman to procreate a healthy existence. Well, the women, but the lamp would also help.

I'd have to inquire if Woman C is child-bearing. I know she is in her late 50's but if she is in good shape, she may still be able to help me continue the species. If not, she will still be of great assistance in child-rearing. Someone will have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed all the screaming children, and it sure as hey is not going to be me!

Woman B is clearly Beckytheblondie. If the genie will accept my wish to banish the foul-smelling Becky from our side of the island, I would also have that. Beckytheblondie does not deserve to live with us. But I cannot help but be drawn into her allure, and we do need her intelligence to promote the survival of our species.

Finally, though, I would have to ask the genie what limits I have on the destination of my wish. If my wish is not restricted to time or scientific law, I choose to take my wish and wish to leave the island for the bed of Keira Knightley around the turn of the 21st century. Yeah, that would be a pretty good use of the wish. Oh, also being present at the signing of the Magna Car.... nah, Keira Knightley's bed. That would be it.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:12 pm

JOHNNYROCKET24 wrote:why do you keep telling me your taking me off ignore but never do ?

Pretty good question, JOHNNYROCKET24, thanks for asking it! Are you the Woman A in owenator's above question? I hope this answers your question!
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:43 pm

BoganGod wrote:Oh great sage wolffy, you haven't checked this thread forever :(

I'm asking a question in the hope that you will find the time to answer this worthy question, from such a humble supplicant.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

It is a question which has puzzled people since the dawn of time, and you would be adding greatly to mans knowledge bank if you could answer this, the most difficult of questions.

Humble supplicant, your wish is finally my command! There is a very good reason that I have not answered this question in a timely manner and that reason may surprise you!

The great sage, Wolffystyle, does not accept well that some answers are nonexistent. This is most challenging to Wolffystyle-hana when rhetorical questions are proposed. Wolffystyle finds the answers to every question. Please ingest the following examples:

September 27th, 1991: Miles asked Wolffystyle, "Wait, MC Hammer is not the best rapper?" -> Though Wolffystyle knew that this question was both rhetorical and sarcastic, he engaged in a two week long study of Rap history, culture, identities and finally in an intensive freestyle rapping course. Wolffystyle, after all of this research, found that, indeed, MC Hammer was NOT the best rapper. It was, of course, Wolffystyle himself after his free-styling rap course. Funny enough was that MC Hammer was the best rapper when then rhetorical question was proposed.

January 1, 2010: Wolffystyle's friend Claudette asked: "Can anyone remember what happened last night?" -> Wolffystyle, sure to find an answer, went upon great odyssey around town, interviewing all residents and collecting completed accounts about the previous night. Wolffystyle's result: No. No one could remember what happened last night. Sub-answer: No. No one could remember why 22 small logs were strewn around, or what the Alaskan Moose was doing in the next room. (We found out WHY it was in the other room but not, exactly, what it was doing to poor Army of GOD.

November 3, 1999: Wolffystyle's mother asks; "How many times have I asked you to stop exploding beakers in the basement?" -> Wolffysytle, you guessed it, engaged in a 3 month field study, which, you guessed it, involved more exploding beakers in the basement to find that the answer to Mother's question was exactly 8.431002.

So, Bogangod, now that you know Wolffystyle does not give up on ANY questions, you will not be disappointed when he says that two years later, after much research and many small bites along his arms, Wolffystyle has an answer. That answer is: 11 small logs. A woodchuck could chuck 11 small logs if a woodchuck could chuck wood. The answer to this question was set back by a wild new year's eve in 2009. But now that Wolffy thinks about it, he can revise his answer to Claudette's previous question. Yes! Now one person can remember what happened on December 31st, 2009!

Two answers from one question!? We're on a roll!
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:46 pm

targetman377 wrote:how has this not been moved yet :-s

Targetman377, please advise me as to what the pronoun in your sentence refers? Do you ask about the global economy or your penis? I will answer immediately.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:03 pm

Falkomagno wrote:Hi wolfy. I want to ask you, which one do you prefer...little but playful, or big but sleepy?

Extremely odd question, Falkomagno, but thanks for asking it. I have, if you'll suspect, never ever been asked this exact question. No one has. I know this because if you Google search "little but playful" + "big but sleepy", these two posts in the Conquer Club forums are all that return.

Again, I am left without understanding the pronoun in the question, but I will take a strike at it anyway. The answer to the question may surprise you!

I must assume that you're asking about PokƩmon, and more specifically about Jigglypuff and Snorlax.

There is only one obvious answer. Big but sleepy. Snorlax triumphs every time. Snorlax will help you beat the Elite four in Generation I and II PokƩmon. If you want more PokƩmon advice, PM me. I have A BUNCH! \:D/
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby xenowolff on Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:09 pm

Since you posted on my wall, I must ask this question.... Do I know you outside of CC?

Also, you have a very nice screen name.
'You have entirely too much common sense and perspective for this site. I am sorry, but I am going to have to request that you leave now.'
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Lubawski on Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:09 pm

Wolffystyle wrote:
targetman377 wrote:how has this not been moved yet :-s

Targetman377, please advise me as to what the pronoun in your sentence refers? Do you ask about the global economy or your penis? I will answer immediately.


Oh wolffy, he is clearly talking about his penis. Any time someone leaves a naked pronoun like "this" in their question, it must, by default, refer to reproductive organs.
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Swimmerdude99 on Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:21 pm

Has wolfystyle found his mate? Or is he still searching for miss cougarstyle?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby BYUwonder11 on Thu Sep 22, 2011 9:23 pm

swimmerdude99 wrote:Has wolfystyle found his mate? Or is he still searching for miss cougarstyle?


If I do remember correctly (Wolffy can correct me of course), not only has he found a suitable "mate" as was stated, but he is able to simultaneously play AND post on CC while "satisfying" her at the same time (I won't delve into too much detail here, I'll leave the surprise and wonder up to someone bold enough to ask the question). It behooveth me to tell you about the previous deserted island posed to Wolffy that it is important to realize how lucky we are to have Wolffy since any other horny individual would have taken one of those women off the island and ruined our society completely, whipping out their "naked pronoun" on a whim. The earth is saved by staying on the island in this case, as opposed to in the movie, in which case just keep playing the lotto and never GO to the island. Hope that's enough of a teaser for you all to hear more about Miss Cougarstyle.
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Ninja Champion on Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:27 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby BYUwonder11 on Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:23 pm

Ninja Champion wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.


Bless you my favorite Ninja for posting that after just arriving at work and listening to it on the way there. It is fate that we're a team in this great world of risk! =D>
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Denise on Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:09 pm

Dear Wolffystlye,

Where are Ninja's pants?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Findolphin on Fri Sep 23, 2011 6:15 pm

Wolffstyle? Me observes a prune alike projection amidst your midriff. What trickery is this?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Mageplunka69 on Sat Sep 24, 2011 10:11 am

BYUwonder11 wrote:
Ninja Champion wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.


Bless you my favorite Ninja for posting that after just arriving at work and listening to it on the way there. It is fate that we're a team in this great world of risk! =D>


Oh Great Ninja, All the Lā™„ve of the women is for you to have, once you open your door and leave the damn house
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby malevolous on Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:40 am

rbelgrod wrote:
BYUwonder11 wrote:
Ninja Champion wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.


Bless you my favorite Ninja for posting that after just arriving at work and listening to it on the way there. It is fate that we're a team in this great world of risk! =D>


Oh Great Ninja, All the Lā™„ve of the women is for you to have, once you open your door and leave the damn house

I love that song....
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby anonymus on Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:40 am

Good afternoon Wolffystyle, i was woundering about Image whats up with that?

/ :?:
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby BYUwonder11 on Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:20 pm

anonymus wrote:Good afternoon Wolffystyle, i was woundering about Image whats up with that?

/ :?:


He's joined the ranks buddy, can you feel the power? Cause I can!
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby lord voldemort on Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:24 am

You're not Wolffy!
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby TeeGee on Fri Sep 30, 2011 5:11 am

lord voldemort wrote:You're not Wolffy!


:-$
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby BYUwonder11 on Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:44 pm

Touche! :oops:
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Swimmerdude99 on Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:41 pm

Wolfy, why are there so many unanswered questions?? May I add three more? Is the Kort war simply stuffing you with meat and therefore causing you to take too much rest to let them settle?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Crazyirishman on Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:41 pm

Wolfy, do you know what 'the big one' that bruce is so coyly keeping to himself refers to?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Army of GOD on Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:46 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

you're trapped on a deserted island with me. Would you:

(a) have sex with me?
(b) kill me and then have sex with me, using my blood as lubricant?
(c) take the physical challenge?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby natty dread on Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:03 am

Blood is not a functional lubricant, AoG!
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby anonymus on Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:33 am

natty_dread wrote:Blood is not a functional lubricant, AoG!

really? i really think its a bit more slippery whenever aunt flo is in town..

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