Uke Spontaneously Dies While Attacking Orthodox Church

Outgoing Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro has arrived in Orlando, Florida where he's apparently occupying a block of residences in the Reunion West resort. Cheering fans greeted his arrival and it's reported Governor Ron DeSantis has pledged state protection for Bolsanaro who is hated by Lula and Biden. Jair has pledged he will organize his return to power soon. Bolsanaro's party continues to control a majority in both chambers of Congress and his allies hold all senior posts in the Army and the Polícia Federal. Viva Bolsanaro!