Conquer Club

I've stopped caring about my career. I'm just marking time until retirement.

It's funny. I used to look at old-timers who obviously didn't care any more, and I thought it was a despicable betrayal of their potential. And now I'm one of them.

I just needed to share this with someone. Not like I can announce it at work.

It’s hard to hide not being motivated

It is, I suppose.

inb4 …

Dukasaur wrote:I've stopped caring about my career. I'm just marking time until retirement.

It's funny. I used to look at old-timers who obviously didn't care any more, and I thought it was a despicable betrayal of their potential. And now I'm one of them.

I just needed to share this with someone. Not like I can announce it at work.

You work for the State, right? Highway stuff?

I think the system of employment, as impacted by public unions, is to blame…not you.

I can’t speak to how things are in Canada, but assuming some similarities.
I used to sell and consult with a lot of public sector agencies here.

Many (most?) state and federal agencies don’t properly. incentivize employees.
There are limited growth options/paths and limited rewards for risk takers.

I would talk (even to managers) at agencies about implementing some new system that could save money or time.
Often I’d get agreement that the ides and technology were good and had reasonable chance of success.
Yet closing was hard because “reasonable” chance of success was not 100%.

In public sector there was no real upside if they took a risk and succeeded… not bonus or promotion opportunity.
Yet there WAS downside if the risk failed… probably not termination, but other negatives.

Unlike private sector, were there is upside if an idea succeeds. You can use that success to get a bonus or raise or promotion.

It’s the system man… not you.

The meaning is deep

jimboston wrote:

Dukasaur wrote:I've stopped caring about my career. I'm just marking time until retirement.

It's funny. I used to look at old-timers who obviously didn't care any more, and I thought it was a despicable betrayal of their potential. And now I'm one of them.

I just needed to share this with someone. Not like I can announce it at work.

You work for the State, right? Highway stuff?

I think the system of employment, as impacted by public unions, is to blame…not you.

I can’t speak to how things are in Canada, but assuming some similarities.

[...]
Many (most?) state and federal agencies don’t properly. incentivize employees.
There are limited growth options/paths and limited rewards for risk takers.

It's not necessarily true in all of Canada, but here in Ontario all the roads are privately managed. The government writes the cheques, but all the work is done by private companies like the one I work for.

I'm actually not unhappy with my company. I used to be. We used to be a privately-held company that fucked people over any way possible. However, a few years ago we were bought by a European multinational that has brought European sensibilities with it, actually treats employees like humans, offers training opportunities, etc. It has actually become a decent place to work in the last few years.

My ennui is entirely my own. Because of my tumultuous youth, I never committed to a single career. I worked a seasonal cycle of temporary jobs. I enjoyed the variety and the changes of scenery and the fact that I didn't have to put up with the same people for more than a few months at a time. But I wasn't getting a benefits package or contributing to a pension plan, and when I was young I didn't fully realize how devastating that would become later. I was 43 when my wife at that time finally browbeat me into looking for a year-round job, and I was 50 by the time I finally settled on one.

So here I am, almost 60 and at a career point that most people hit when they're 30, and there's really nothing left to aspire to. I'm basically a department supervisor, and the next step up would be operations manager, but my operations manager is 22 years younger than me and so I can't wait for him to retire. Everybody above him is younger than me also. The company president, vice-president, regional managers are all younger than me. A lateral move is possible, I suppose -- every now and then there's an opening for an operations manager somewhere else -- but it doesn't seem like it's worth uprooting my life an moving across the country to make 10% more than I make now.

Most guys my age who made the right moves early are retired already, but of course I made all the wrong moves early and my pension plan is in the low 5 digits. Probably be 10 years before I can even think about retiring. More likely end up like my friend Jimmy, who was 78 and getting dressed for work on the day he dropped dead, because up to the very end he couldn't afford to retire. I think about that often.

I always thought I'd eventually go finish my degree and go look for a job in the chemical industry, but time has outstripped me. Given how expensive university is and how few good years I have left, I probably wouldn't recover the funds invested into something like that. So the best I can hope for is a lateral move in the transport or highway industries somewhere. But I'm tired. And I don't care. I just didn't understand when I was young and wasting all those years of boundless energy, just how little energy one has when one is older.

Dukasaur wrote:A lateral move is possible, I suppose -- every now and then there's an opening for an operations manager somewhere else -- but it doesn't seem like it's worth uprooting my life an moving across the country to make 10% more than I make now.

That’s true if you are rooted… but if you wanted to move somewhere else then maybe it’d work.

My older brother moved laterally within his Company from Massachusetts to California to be closer to his kids.

After a few years they realized California is expensive and not necessarily the best place to ‘retire’ so they made another move to North Carolina.

I suppose he’s happy…. but it’s a risk. Obviously California didn’t work out as he’d hoped.

Working out your last few years is basically the same as working out your notice period. You're off soon, why do you care. Being unmotivated and just doing enough to get by isn't the same as putting your feet up and taking the piss, you're still carrying your own weight.

The main difference being someone working out their notice is probably going on to a better job whereas someone working out their career is probably going into an incinerator.

Do you have any additional equity anywhere (do you own a home)?

Have you considered re-marrying rich?

mookiemcgee wrote:Do you have any additional equity anywhere (do you own a home)?

Have you considered re-marrying rich?

Well, not quite rich, lol, but at least my third wife has a real career, which my first two wives didn't.

Not enough to change the basic calculus.

bigtoughralf wrote:Working out your last few years is basically the same as working out your notice period. You're off soon, why do you care. Being unmotivated and just doing enough to get by isn't the same as putting your feet up and taking the piss, you're still carrying your own weight.

Yeah, definitely still carrying my weight.

mookiemcgee wrote:Do you have any additional equity anywhere (do you own a home)?

Have you considered re-marrying rich?

Don’t marry rich, cause then Mookie will start suggesting your wife has a boyfriend.

Dukasaur wrote:

bigtoughralf wrote:Working out your last few years is basically the same as working out your notice period. You're off soon, why do you care. Being unmotivated and just doing enough to get by isn't the same as putting your feet up and taking the piss, you're still carrying your own weight.

Yeah, definitely still carrying my weight.

Don't sweat it then init. Better to work like that than be one of those people who works 60-70 hour weeks and takes their work laptop on holiday. Or a male prostitute, like saxitoxin.