Conquer Club

Trapyoung, please be sure to post: DO NOT POST IN HERE UNLESS YOU WANT TO JOIN at least 10 times. I learned that trick from the Martial artist clan thread.

I would like to join. I am such a pirate ninja, my wooden leg is actually a nunchuck. Can't walk for shit on it, but it has come in handy in ninja fights.

GrimReaper. wrote:kinda of a rip off of what im starting.

Shenanigans! I call Shenanigans!

You said that a pirate who knew how to crane kick could NOT join your clan. Now there's one where pirate ninjas ARE welcome.

This isn't a ripoff of your clan, and if you ask me, I think this new Pirate Ninja clan will become your clan's nemesis.

sigh more than likely

Sounds like my kind of clan! Disciplined precision meets recklessness and mayhem. I once hid in a tree in the dark for an hour so I could scare a group of children. I have mastered the "paralyzer" and " the kiss of the dragon ". I know how to tie a mean bow line knot. I enjoy alcoholic beverages in abundance and am interested in the location of booty.

i have a black patch over one of my eyes with a skull
and cross bones on it... davey jones was my favorite
monkey (oh, that is good... i know a few of you are
truly laughing)... but i have one additional question
this thread has not covered. if i join, can my parrot join
too? as far as my marial arts cred goes, in my house, the
hand is used as a knife...-0

"Davey Jones was my favorite Monkee..."

owenshooter wrote:in my house, the
hand is used as a knife...-0

That doesn't fly in my house, I'd get scurvey on all the food....

Trap, I think I am the ideal candidate to join your awesome new clan. I have attached my covering letter below:

Dear Trapyoung,

I would like to join your pirate ninja clan right now.

My pirate credentials are as follows: I once knew long dong silver and watched all of his instructional videos on booty plundering. They made me feel kind of light-headed, but I totally knew I wanted to be like him when I grew up.

Also, I'm clearly a pirate because both of my feet are hooks, my shoulder has a rare type of bone-deformity which makes it look like a parrot's face, and I have a vitamin C deficiency. Furthermore, my personal hygiene is lacking, and I spend my days daydreaming splicing mainbraces, reeling in mizzenmasts and keelhauling landlubbers .

When it comes to ninja credentials, I have those too: Obviously I can't tell you all about them because the art of ninjitsu is super-secret; but allow me to assure you that I own multiple sets of improbably shaped and dubiously effective weapons, all of which have featured at least once in Bruce Lee films. Furthermore I can do forward-rolls, which are the first step towards somersaults, which every ninja can do... so I'm pretty acrobatic. Finally, I once sneaked into a ladies lavatory in an old people's home and didn't get caught. That's pretty fucking stealthy, I think you'll agree.

For all of the above listed reasons I think I would be an ideal candidate for this clan.
Also, I don't like Grim Reapers, and am of the opinion that they can suck my pubes.

Yours faithfully,
DM

GrimReaper. wrote:sigh more than likely

DO NOT POST IN HERE UNLESS YOU WANT TO JOIN!!! LOL!!1 THx!

owenshooter wrote:if i join, can my parrot join
too? -0

parrots are welcome, but when push comes to shove, they should be able to first, be able to speak and therefore be skilled in the deadly arts of flaming and secondly, allow us to use their beaks to pick locks. the types of locks will be those sealing treasure chests and maintaining young virgins chastity belts. domo argggghhhrhh!

What about Kung Fu Panda's? Or should I start my own thread for them? (Yes, my pirate shoulders are so broad and massive from my many ninja exercises, that I do have a panda sit on my shoulder.)

Quick question for pirates with parrots, and BRETT too.... are they potty-trained, or do they crap down your backside all day? I imagine a Panda can drop quite a bit in a day....

Dancing Mustard wrote:Trap, I think I am the ideal candidate to join your awesome new clan. I have attached my covering letter below:

Dear Trapyoung,

I would like to join your pirate ninja clan right now.

My pirate credentials are as follows: I once knew long dong silver and watched all of his instructional videos on booty plundering. They made me feel kind of light-headed, but I totally knew I wanted to be like him when I grew up.

Also, I'm clearly a pirate because both of my feet are hooks, my shoulder has a rare type of bone-deformity which makes it look like a parrot's face, and I have a vitamin C deficiency. Furthermore, my personal hygiene is lacking, and I spend my days daydreaming splicing mainbraces, reeling in mizzenmasts and keelhauling landlubbers .

When it comes to ninja credentials, I have those too: Obviously I can't tell you all about them because the art of ninjitsu is super-secret; but allow me to assure you that I own multiple sets of improbably shaped and dubiously effective weapons, all of which have featured at least once in Bruce Lee films. Furthermore I can do forward-rolls, which are the first step towards somersaults, which every ninja can do... so I'm pretty acrobatic. Finally, I once sneaked into a ladies lavatory in an old people's home and didn't get caught. That's pretty fucking stealthy, I think you'll agree.

For all of the above listed reasons I think I would be an ideal candidate for this clan.
Also, I don't like Grim Reapers, and am of the opinion that they can suck my pubes.

Yours faithfully,
DM

DM, you're cover letter is as impressive as a landlubbers distaste for sea legs. You would make an excellent addition to any pirate ninja clan or regional IT business and am honored to have such an applicant. With your skills not only can we show up the other martial art oriented but pirate disdaining usergroups, conquer club's geriatric clubs will now live in fear for at any moment in the day during their several trips to the bathroom a forward roll followed by a Bruce Lee weapon attack is likely to come. Not to out you, but i picked up on your subtlety, in a Bruce Lee film, any item is a potential weapon, so you have been trained in the super secret weapon art training of EVERYTHING, an impressive feat.

Our numbers are growing! All other clans be wary, I think I see black sails in the sunset...

domo arrghghgr!

-Captain Trap'and plunder the'young of the SOHK Dojo

jbrettlip wrote:What about Kung Fu Panda's? Or should I start my own thread for them? (Yes, my pirate shoulders are so broad and massive from my many ninja exercises, that I do have a panda sit on my shoulder.)

the same requirements for parrots exist for all shoulder sitting animals a ninja or pirate may possess. can they speak and flame and can we use it's nose to pick locks... i imagine the answer to a well trained panda of an elite ninja is yes to both.

trapyoung wrote:

jbrettlip wrote:What about Kung Fu Panda's? Or should I start my own thread for them? (Yes, my pirate shoulders are so broad and massive from my many ninja exercises, that I do have a panda sit on my shoulder.)

the same requirements for parrots exist for all shoulder sitting animals a ninja or pirate may possess. can they speak and flame and can we use it's nose to pick locks... i imagine the answer to a well trained panda of an elite ninja is yes to both.

Ah yes... the Tekken Panda.....

soculver wrote:Sounds like my kind of clan! Disciplined precision meets recklessness and mayhem. I once hid in a tree in the dark for an hour so I could scare a group of children. I have mastered the "paralyzer" and " the kiss of the dragon ". I know how to tie a mean bow line knot. I enjoy alcoholic beverages in abundance and am interested in the location of booty.

Am I being considered? Need more credentials, perhaps some referrals?

soculver wrote:

soculver wrote:Sounds like my kind of clan! Disciplined precision meets recklessness and mayhem. I once hid in a tree in the dark for an hour so I could scare a group of children. I have mastered the "paralyzer" and " the kiss of the dragon ". I know how to tie a mean bow line knot. I enjoy alcoholic beverages in abundance and am interested in the location of booty.

Am I being considered? Need more credentials, perhaps some referrals?

By "location of the Booty," exactly what do you mean?
Because I don't believe this is a clan for Butt Pirates.

However, if you mean plunder... I think maybe you're in.....

soculver wrote:I know how to tie a mean bow line knot.

Ahhh, but can you tie a Bow-Tie knot?

You're never going to be able to infiltrate high-society occasions if you can't; and what kind of lousy ninja can't even sneak himself into Ascot?

My ninjato doesn't swing that way. I enjoy hostile acquisition of valuable commodities, "plundering booty" to the lay pirate. (Yes I did attend the Black Beard school of business and graduated with Ye Honors). The bow tie is something you do to your enemies ship. It is also known as the barnacle special. As for the ascot, I do in fact have one but it is a clip on - but the wenches have never complained. Try getting caught in a heavy tail wind without a good sheep shank and get back to me. I am the reigning champ of this seasons hit show "So You Think You Can Swashbuckle?" I wrote the following papers - "Pirates are from Galleys, Wenches are from Port." , and "Is that Swamp Butt or Scurvy- A Pirates comprehensive guide." I studied under the Great Dread Pirate Roberts, and was his stunt double. I wrote my thesis on inflatable avian companions under the watchful eye of my mentor Peter Sellers - who was in fact a Ninja, a Pirate, and Confucius. I also swab a mean deck and am quite comfortable in the crow's nest.
Permission to come aboard?!!

See my avatar? That`s the only picture ever taken of me.
Some pirate-wannabe thought a pirate-ninja was funny, he thought he could get quite a few pieces o eight by revealing my identity to my mortal enemies( the dreadful ninja-pirates)
I contemplated killing him with my lower intestines(method 37C), however i decided not even that would be harsh enough for such a specimen.
So, instead, i decided to help him find his true calling, i hear he`s in advertising nowadays

haggis & soculver seem like sea worthy companions - welcome aboard lads.

haggis, i am very impressed with your photography skills, i'm thinking we may need a signature similar to the bullet proof bandits with all of our photos, could you be photographer perhaps, anyone caught on film tho will be immediately released from the Pirate Ninjas.. no stealthy ninja pirate would ever be captured, with ropes or the magic of photography.

can we have bake sales to get premium for our non-premium members?-0

Well, I would like join. As long no one is against having a Pirate Queen Ninja in the ranks......I watch that show "Ninja Warrior" all the time and I've read my share of pirate themed romances and have plundered many a Barnes and Noble (along with quite a few 7/11s) in my time....This also seems like the beginning of a crazy funny group and I want to be in early on

owenshooter wrote:can we have bake sales to get premium for our non-premium members?-0

Surely we should just be in the business of plundering/stealthily-stealing from other people's bake sales?

Alternatively, we should have grog sales. Much more 'us'.

Dancing Mustard wrote:

owenshooter wrote:can we have bake sales to get premium for our non-premium members?-0

Surely we should just be in the business of plundering/stealthily-stealing from other people's bake sales?

Alternatively, we should have grog sales. Much more 'us'.

Yes, grog is severely understated......it needs to make a comeback. Although I've had grog while eating sushi and I wouldn't recommend it.

I think an exception to the non-competitive status of this clan should be considered when it comes to the Martial Artists of CC clan. I posted over on their thread a couple times with what I considered to be perfectly appropriate questions about their clan, although I wasn't really interested in joining....at any rate, their leader never answered any of my questions adequately and overall was quite rude to me. And the real kicker? He never once asked people not to post in the thread unless they were interested in joining the clan, so I had no reason not to ask my questions. It was really disappointing.