Conquer Club

I need some new ones......."Honey I will be right there, I need to check my email real quick (for an hour) before bed." Just isn't working anymore.

I have started using the online Christmas shopping excuse, but when she only gets one gift that is gonna be suspicious too.

Help me. (us )

"I'm doing a teach-yourself course in Geography"

You are working on strategy for WWIII which is coming, just ask a jesus freak

Two which have always worked for me:
"Darling, i am just looking at some online titillation... "
If she has the audacity to question that, you will just need to qualify it with:
"But my golden haired goddess.. as you well know you don't quite do it for me any-more.. but with a little help from our friend Spankwire i can still take you to heaven and back every week-night and twice a day at the weekend" (i assume you'd like to play a few speed games too on Saturday and Sunday)

Now if your good lady is a little less of the romantic then why not go a little more complex:
"Angel cakes!.. you know it's always been my dream to write a novel!!"
you need to do a little groundwork of course.* But you can get away with anything under such circumstance.. if she catches you playing CC whilst twittering your future Ukrainian mail-order bride .. well then you can pass it off as 'research'; the main character of your novel being a shy, internet nerd with a penchant for on-line strategy games who has trouble meeting girls.


*if you have no discernible talent as an author, tell her it's a children's book about a badger called Philip who has befriended a hedgehog from the wrong side of the track.

Just tell her you've taken a second job, playing online poker.

Tell her you're pretending to be a little girl effing with pedophiles

sweet

Firstly, you need a second computer. Secondly, you need to get her hooked. Thirdly buy her an account.
Problem solved.

Find something she is addicted to on the interwebs....like farmville or facebook or similar...then hold it over her

Grow a set and show who's boss

wait till she has gone in the shower or is getting ready... perfect time

jaseleo wrote:Grow a set and show who's boss

LOL nice

lord voldemort wrote:Find something she is addicted to on the interwebs....like farmville or facebook or similar...then hold it over her

Soooo. What do you have on your farm?

" im removing all my gay porno "

"I'm writing some code to take my turns for me, so I can spend more quality time with you"

Oh wait...

jaseleo wrote:Grow a set and show who's boss

Clearly you still live in your Mom's basement.

"I'm studying real-estate acquisitions for our summer home. I'd really like this plot in southern France."


--Andy

"I'm off to have a wank."

Honey, don't you think it is time to visit you mom again for a week or two? I think I can get the tickets for you online real cheap. Let me research that.

mpjh wrote:Honey, don't you think it is time to visit you mom again for a week or two? I think I can get the tickets for you online real cheap. Let me research that.

That would work except you and I both know it would turn into a "we" are going to visit mom for a week or two.......I'd rather wake up tomorrow as (*edited* out the name of an annoying, forum spamming kid who knows where you live to protect the innocent and not get banned) than do that.....


....remember,its all in fun.

Generally I wait until she's watching some inane television show on Bravo or The Learning Channel (like "We Have 12 Kids" or "We're Midgets and We're in Love" or "I'm an Italian American from New Jersey Who Makes Cakes").

Just turn the computer chair upside down and that should give her and you both a place to sit.

King_Herpes wrote:Just turn the computer chair upside down and that should give her and you both a place to sit.

What if your chair is one on wheels???

look its simple just buy her a book to read while your online she's reading

vibrating book