Conquer Club

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:28 pm**

So, we know that the UK posters heavily outnumber the US posters, and I'm open for criticism from all sides, and against anyone. Just try to be funny, and points lost for first sense of humour failure:

The UK is better than the US, because:

10) Americans rely on crude stereotypes of other countries to make their points.
9) Americans are fat, lazy, and ignorant.
8 ) Holding a British passport means that the Queen gives you her own protection. Border officials always look worried when you mention that the Queen is prepared to step up personally.
7) The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Clash... ah this isn't even a point. You get Elvis and Dylan, so a good second prize.
6) Most of the world would take British cooking over McDonalds. That's grim indeed.
5) Football vs American football? One is called the "beautiful" game. The other is called "American" football.
4) Americans are afraid of the dark. (Points for a HIMYM reference?)
3) We saved your ass in World War 2. Also the Soviet's ass. That we also saved. Let's be clear- no other ass saving was done. This point is done.
2) Why do you just call it cheese? There are millions of varieties in the world. Why just say that something comes with added cheese? Seriously- a cheeseburger? Without the cheese it wouldn't be a meatburger- you'd specify the meat. Beef, it's a beefburger. You don't get meatchops, or meatwings (although you do seem to have Buffalo wings- I get that they seem to have come from the town of Buffalo, but did no-one think it might be ambiguous? anyway...). That's grim. And seriously? Out of a spray can like whipped cream? Oh dear lord. And the sheets of "American Cheese" stuck between plastic. Double grim. Don't get me started on bacon. But really- cheese? Cheese? With Cheese? Contains cheese? Added cheese? Mozarella, feta, stilton, edam, gorgonzola...
1) IQ is a number

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:30 pm**

Those are all childish points and not scoring an English lad any points. Flame on

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:33 pm**

Phatscotty wrote:Those are all childish points and not scoring an English lad any points. Flame on

Not willing to challenge the childish? Or not able?

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:35 pm**

Symmetry wrote:So, we know that the UK posters heavily outnumber the US posters, and I'm open for criticism from all sides, and against anyone. Just try to be funny, and points lost for first sense of humour failure:

The UK is better than the US, because:

10) Americans rely on crude stereotypes of other countries to make their points.
9) Americans are fat, lazy, and ignorant.
Holding a British passport means that the Queen gives you her own protection. Border officials always look worried when you mention that the Queen is prepared to step up personally.
7) The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Clash... ah this isn't even a point. You get Elvis and Dylan, so a good second prize.
6) Most of the world would take British cooking over McDonalds. That's grim indeed.
5) Football vs American football? One is called the "beautiful" game. The other is called "American" football.
4) Americans are afraid of the dark. (Points for a HIMYM reference?)
3) We saved your ass in World War 2. Also the Soviet's ass. That we also saved. Let's be clear- no other ass saving was done. This point is done.
2) Why do you just call it cheese? There are millions of varieties in the world. Why just say that something comes with added cheese? Seriously- a cheeseburger? Without the cheese it wouldn't be a meatburger- you'd specify the meat. Beef, it's a beefburger. You don't get meatchops, or meatwings (although you do seem to have Buffalo wings- I get that they seem to have come from the town of Buffalo, but did no-one think it might be ambiguous? anyway...). That's grim. And seriously? Out of a spray can like whipped cream? Oh dear lord. And the sheets of "American Cheese" stuck between plastic. Double grim. Don't get me started on bacon. But really- cheese? Cheese? With Cheese? Contains cheese? Added cheese? Mozarella, feta, stilton, edam, gorgonzola...
1) IQ is a number

Well, 10 and 9 contradict eachother.
8. Only British people actually have something going for them with their royalty. So, what else would you expect?
7. How about Little Richard, Fats Domino, Bing Crosby, Bill Hailey, Billy Holiday, Louis Armstrong, and so many others that actually had influence on the very bands you mentioned?
6. Obviously you have never had home cooking Western, Southern, South Western, or North East Style, since the best you can compare is McDonalds.
5. Odd, never heard it called "the beautiful game" before. Plus, watch some NCAA College football, especially rivalry games. You will see why it is so big.

Comment more later.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:37 pm**

Loving #10 and #9. #5 says it all, we have invented pretty much every major sport in the world including the unrivalled number one, football.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:37 pm**

good thing no one here really likes mcdonalds either

and cheese is always cheese, varieties mean nothing when its all the same thing, just like the different kinds of people

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:38 pm**

Symmetry wrote:
Phatscotty wrote:Those are all childish points and not scoring an English lad any points. Flame on
Not willing to challenge the childish? Or not able?

yes I would, but you did say it was for laughs, so I won't rain on it. Just a slight drizzle

Mcdonalds is not the only thing available to eat in America, and stating so circles right into your other point of "American's relying on crude stereotyping...."

Cmon man

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:40 pm**

so, you are comparing USA with only country that is possibly worse then USA? this is funny...

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:41 pm**

I would only point out that if you are getting whipped cream from a can you have fallen for the ickiest bit of convenience food ever.
Whipped cream is cream, whipped.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:42 pm**

Please take a gander at this most appropriate picture for this kind thread.

Click image to enlarge.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:44 pm**

BigBallinStalin wrote:Please take a gander at this most appropriate picture for this kind thread.

Click image to enlarge.

I will agree with everything here

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:45 pm**

muy_thaiguy wrote:
Symmetry wrote:So, we know that the UK posters heavily outnumber the US posters, and I'm open for criticism from all sides, and against anyone. Just try to be funny, and points lost for first sense of humour failure:

The UK is better than the US, because:

10) Americans rely on crude stereotypes of other countries to make their points.
9) Americans are fat, lazy, and ignorant.
8 ) Holding a British passport means that the Queen gives you her own protection. Border officials always look worried when you mention that the Queen is prepared to step up personally.
7) The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Clash... ah this isn't even a point. You get Elvis and Dylan, so a good second prize.
6) Most of the world would take British cooking over McDonalds. That's grim indeed.
5) Football vs American football? One is called the "beautiful" game. The other is called "American" football.
4) Americans are afraid of the dark. (Points for a HIMYM reference?)
3) We saved your ass in World War 2. Also the Soviet's ass. That we also saved. Let's be clear- no other ass saving was done. This point is done.
2) Why do you just call it cheese? There are millions of varieties in the world. Why just say that something comes with added cheese? Seriously- a cheeseburger? Without the cheese it wouldn't be a meatburger- you'd specify the meat. Beef, it's a beefburger. You don't get meatchops, or meatwings (although you do seem to have Buffalo wings- I get that they seem to have come from the town of Buffalo, but did no-one think it might be ambiguous? anyway...). That's grim. And seriously? Out of a spray can like whipped cream? Oh dear lord. And the sheets of "American Cheese" stuck between plastic. Double grim. Don't get me started on bacon. But really- cheese? Cheese? With Cheese? Contains cheese? Added cheese? Mozarella, feta, stilton, edam, gorgonzola...
1) IQ is a number
Well, 10 and 9 contradict eachother.
8. Only British people actually have something going for them with their royalty. So, what else would you expect?
7. How about Little Richard, Fats Domino, Bing Crosby, Bill Hailey, Billy Holiday, Louis Armstrong, and so many others that actually had influence on the very bands you mentioned?
6. Obviously you have never had home cooking Western, Southern, South Western, or North East Style, since the best you can compare is McDonalds.
5. Odd, never heard it called "the beautiful game" before. Plus, watch some NCAA College football, especially rivalry games. You will see why it is so big.

Comment more later.

Do 10 and 9 contradict each other? Thanks for that. I was certainly unaware.

8 ) I expect the President of your country to personally get upset every time an immigration official looks at your passport. I know the Queen does for me.
7) They sound fun. Maybe if they'd been in the bands I mentioned fewer people would preface their names with "How about..."
6) Apparently the cooking styles you mention has failed to spread even within the US. I'll wait to hear them mentioned outside of the US, however.
5) Not odd at all, my friend. It's a question of judging beauty.

Also- first sense of humour failure.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:48 pm**

maasman wrote:good thing no one here really likes mcdonalds either
and cheese is always cheese, varieties mean nothing when its all the same thing, just like the different kinds of people

That truly shows you do not appreciate cheese. Two varieties of cheese are as different as apples and oranges. No way that cheddar and Red Leicester and Brie and Cheshire are all the same thing, they taste nothing alike.

@Stalin, thats an awesome pic and so true really, although I think better images could have been found for Europe under history (the Colosseum!) and architecture (all 4 are fairly similar).

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:48 pm**

Symmetry wrote:
8 ) Holding a British passport means that the Queen gives you her own protection. Border officials always look worried when you mention that the Queen is prepared to step up personally.

A frail old lady compared to the might of the US military? Or even our president?..

I think not!

Symmetry wrote: 7) The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Clash... ah this isn't even a point. You get Elvis and Dylan, so a good second prize.

Definitely a good point, though you gotta add in a "few" others.. maybe James Taylor, etc.

Symmetry wrote: 6) Most of the world would take British cooking over McDonalds. That's grim indeed.

Yes, but we can fall back on Cajun rice and beans, Main Lobster, Texas Tacos, Pacific Salmon and even California "grape nut" salads... Oh and definitely wine!!!

All you have is Haggis, potatoes, cockles and a bit of "squeek" for your external regionial cousine. (sorry, but I cannot accept Indian= British, we all know that desperation for new recipes was a major reason you went off to conquer the rest of the world.)

Symmetry wrote: 5) Football vs American football? One is called the "beautiful" game. The other is called "American" football.

Yep.. no euphamisms for us! We are PROUD to announce OUR sport!

Symmetry wrote: 4) Americans are afraid of the dark. (Points for a HIMYM reference?)

I think you are confusing us with Austrailia, there.

Symmetry wrote: 3) We saved your ass in World War 2. Also the Soviet's ass. That we also saved. Let's be clear- no other ass saving was done. This point is done.

Seems you must have partaken of another effect of the Rolling Stones and Beatles culture.

Symmetry wrote: 2) Why do you just call it cheese? There are millions of varieties in the world. Why just say that something comes with added cheese? Seriously- a cheeseburger?

When you got the best, why bother clarifying?
OK, in all seriousness, I am enough of a cook to definitely appreciate multiple varieties of cheese, but still -- Cheddar versus American.. not much of a competition, there. The REAL cheese "heroes" are frankly neither of us, though very recent inroads have been made in both the UK and US

Symmetry wrote: 1) IQ is a number

Yes, and we understand it, too.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:49 pm**

BigBallinStalin wrote:Please take a gander at this most appropriate picture for this kind thread.

Click image to enlarge.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:50 pm**

Titanic wrote:
maasman wrote:good thing no one here really likes mcdonalds either
and cheese is always cheese, varieties mean nothing when its all the same thing, just like the different kinds of people
That truly shows you do not appreciate cheese. Two varieties of cheese are as different as apples and oranges. No way that cheddar and Red Leicester and Brie and Cheshire are all the same thing, they taste nothing alike.

now thats just being a cheesist, everything is always the same forever. always.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:54 pm**

PLAYER57832 wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.

You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered their own.

So sad.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:58 pm**

Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote: 1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.

You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered there own.

So sad.[/quote]

Whats sad is we (USA) rescue and protect and then tolerate 2nd rate countries such as yours.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:01 pm**

jefjef wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote:
Symmetry wrote: 1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.
You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered there own.

So sad.

Whats sad is we (USA) rescue and protect and then tolerate 2nd rate countries such as yours.

No no- sadness comes in my failure to edit my post properly before you could quote it. Also, your failure to find a witty way to insult me. Let alone ten.

So sad.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:05 pm**

Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.
You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered their own.

So sad.

hmm. I stand by my response.

Sorry, don't intend to explain it, though.

But the sad part is that I am still here, responding to this thread when the sun is shining outside (lol ... had to put my son down for his nap).

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:07 pm**

PLAYER57832 wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.
You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered their own.

So sad.
hmm. I stand by my response.

Bu the sad part is that I am still here, responding to this thread when the sun is shining outside (lol ... had to put my son down for his nap).

That is a sadness- I've been typing all day. And it seems that few people share my sense of humour. Ah well.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:09 pm**

Symmetry wrote:
jefjef wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote: 1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.
You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered there own.

So sad.

Whats sad is we (USA) rescue and protect and then tolerate 2nd rate countries such as yours.

No no- sadness comes in my failure to edit my post properly before you could quote it. Also, your failure to find a witty way to insult me. Let alone ten.

So sad.[/quote]

No insult. Unless you find TRUTH an insult. Now I must honor my past judgment and never display another of your posts.

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:10 pm**

jefjef wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
jefjef wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
PLAYER57832 wrote: 1) IQ is a number
Yes, and we understand it, too.
You'd have to understand the first line of this thread to get that one. Explaining my own jokes makes me feel very sad. Would be nice if some Americans offered there own.

So sad.

Whats sad is we (USA) rescue and protect and then tolerate 2nd rate countries such as yours.
No no- sadness comes in my failure to edit my post properly before you could quote it. Also, your failure to find a witty way to insult me. Let alone ten.

So sad.

No insult. Unless you find TRUTH an insult. Now I must honor my past judgment and never display another of your posts.[/quote]

How easy to make an enemy- insult his nation's cheese making skills

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:38 pm**

We won the war, we're best. Do I need any other points?

Also, best country

Posted: **Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:41 pm**

Symmetry wrote:10) Americans rely on crude stereotypes of other countries to make their points.

I guess there aren't many fans of ironic humour in here.

Conquer Club

Best country?

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