Conquer Club

Let's tell each other our most deep and dark secrets!

You can comment on someone else's, but the one rule of this thread is that you MUST post a secret about yourself. Failure to do so will result in someone telling you that you broke the only rule of this thread.

I'll start.


Raphael is by far the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but only because both his name and color of his stuff start with the same letter as my name.

@AoG: Richard Renal'dinger, is that you?



BigBallinStalin is related to where I'm from.

So this is an "explain your name" thread?

Well um... you know how my username has "john" in it?

[spoiler]That's my actual name![/spoiler]

Don't tell anyone!

Fireworks, ever since I was little, have scared the shit out of me (I was not very fun on the 4th of July as a little kid) because I have always had this bad premonition that they would strt a fire on the grass. To contrast this though, I have no problems with firecrackers.

Also, I purposefully spelled my username wrong so no one would knoe my actual name.

I've fantasized about having sex with Whoopie Goldberg.


Honibaz

BigBallinStalin wrote:@AoG: Richard Renal'dinger, is that you?

You got the first name right

john9blue wrote:So this is an "explain your name" thread?

Not specifically. Unless I consider Raphael "God".






...

b.k. barunt wrote:I've fantasized about having sex with Whoopie Goldberg.

Good God man! Have some decency!




And back when I was a good little Catholic boy, I had such terrible nightmares (which I can still recite today with perfect detail) that I would beg Satan (who I thought caused all the bad dreams) to not force me through another one. Also, when my brother (THE ARMY) and I shared a bunkbed, I never once fell asleep in the direction of my closet, just because I feared one of the zombies from the original Alone in the Dark (a game that my older siblings would play, but I was too petrified to) would come out and eat me.




The zombie is the thing on the left.

Here is the website for The Secret:

http://www.thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html

(just thought it appropriate to the title.. lol)

.. and my secret is that I actually watched the darned thing and happen to know at least one individual involved in its development!

PLAYER57832 wrote:Here is the website for The Secret:

http://www.thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html

(just thought it appropriate to the title.. lol)

Congrats on breaking the one rule of this thread.



Also, Jasmine is by far the hottest Disney Princess.

I still have absolutely no idea how many days are in any given month. I even tried to learn the rhyme, and a method of counting on knuckles.

I'm pretty sure that February or September have 28 except in a leap year. Probably February.

Army of GOD wrote:

PLAYER57832 wrote:Here is the website for The Secret:

http://www.thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html

(just thought it appropriate to the title.. lol)

Congrats on breaking the one rule of this thread.



Also, Jasmine is by far the hottest Disney Princess.

Nah unh unh.....Pocahontas, no question.

I can't tie my shoes, so I still wear velcro sneakers. They are hard to find in men's size 13

notyou2 wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:

PLAYER57832 wrote:Here is the website for The Secret:

http://www.thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html

(just thought it appropriate to the title.. lol)

Congrats on breaking the one rule of this thread.



Also, Jasmine is by far the hottest Disney Princess.

Nah unh unh.....Pocahontas, no question.

You couldn't be any more wrong...



And whenever I see an inequality, I still recognize it as "the alligator eats the bigger number" (4>x [4 is bigger than x because the alligator eats it!]).

Back when I couldn't sleep when I was younger, I used to count the amount of "bars" that make up numbers on digital clocks.

I can tell you right away that 7 bars make up an 8, 6 bars make a 9, 6 and 0, 5 bars make up a 5, 3 and 2, 4 is 4 bars, 7 is 3 bars and a 1 is 2.

Army of GOD wrote:Back when I couldn't sleep when I was younger, I used to count the amount of "bars" that make up numbers on digital clocks.

I can tell you right away that 7 bars make up an 8, 6 bars make a 9, 6 and 0, 5 bars make up a 5, 3 and 2, 4 is 4 bars, 7 is 3 bars and a 1 is 2.

OMG

Secret: One time, myself and two of my friends were driving downtown. All of a sudden, this overwhelming waft of of Mcdonalds french fries overtook the car.

One guy takes a whiff and says, "he guys, you smell that?"

Other guy : whiffs it, says "Yes, yes I smell it. Mcdonalds freis wtf?"

Me: dead silence

one guy : "wierd. where is there a Mcdonalds around here?"

other guy : "I don't know but it must be close"

Me: "Hey you guys, I got a secret. I farted."

Phatscotty wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:Back when I couldn't sleep when I was younger, I used to count the amount of "bars" that make up numbers on digital clocks.

I can tell you right away that 7 bars make up an 8, 6 bars make a 9, 6 and 0, 5 bars make up a 5, 3 and 2, 4 is 4 bars, 7 is 3 bars and a 1 is 2.

OMG

Secret: One time, myself and two of my friends were driving downtown. All of a sudden, this overwhelming waft of of Mcdonalds french fries overtook the car.

One guy takes a whiff and says, "he guys, you smell that?"

Other guy : whiffs it, says "Yes, yes I smell it. Mcdonalds freis wtf?"

Me: dead silence

one guy : "wierd. where is there a Mcdonalds around here?"

other guy : "I don't know but it must be close"

Me: "Hey you guys, I got a secret. I farted."

"Can I get a Phatscotty fart with that?"

BigBallinStalin wrote:

Phatscotty wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:Back when I couldn't sleep when I was younger, I used to count the amount of "bars" that make up numbers on digital clocks.

I can tell you right away that 7 bars make up an 8, 6 bars make a 9, 6 and 0, 5 bars make up a 5, 3 and 2, 4 is 4 bars, 7 is 3 bars and a 1 is 2.

OMG

Secret: One time, myself and two of my friends were driving downtown. All of a sudden, this overwhelming waft of of Mcdonalds french fries overtook the car.

One guy takes a whiff and says, "he guys, you smell that?"

Other guy : whiffs it, says "Yes, yes I smell it. Mcdonalds freis wtf?"

Me: dead silence

one guy : "wierd. where is there a Mcdonalds around here?"

other guy : "I don't know but it must be close"

Me: "Hey you guys, I got a secret. I farted."

"Can I get a Phatscotty fart with that?"

Congrats SmallBalls for breaking the one rule of this thread.

When ever I hear or see someone cracking one of their bones, I'm almost forced to crack my neck, back and knuckles in that order.

After I take a dump, I have to fold 9 pieces of toilet paper and wipe 9 separate times. Only on two occasions have I broke my rule. August 17th 1998, otherwise known as the "jack in the box incident" and then the time my friend told me I "Had to try" Chipotle...

Whenever I have to wear a suit for work, I hang up my jacket in the back seat of my car. I will periodically think I forgot my jacket, pull over, and turn around to see if my jacket is still there. By periodically, I mean every 15 minutes.

I knew a guy who did something bit a stranger than that. Whenever he put a letter in the post box, everytime he'd think that his kids were somehow in that letter. SO he had to do something, right? He'd launch his arm into there trying to free his children, and then try kicking it to bust it open. The even stranger thing is that he knew this was all crazy, he knew his children couldn't possibly be in that letter, but he had to confirm it. Every time.

BigBallinStalin wrote:I knew a guy who did something bit a stranger than that. Whenever he put a letter in the post box, everytime he'd think that his kids were somehow in that letter. SO he had to do something, right? He'd launch his arm into there trying to free his children, and then try kicking it to bust it open. The even stranger thing is that he knew this was all crazy, he knew his children couldn't possibly be in that letter, but he had to confirm it. Every time.

That's pretty weird.

I never wash my hands with soap after urinating, I just run some water over them. When my wife asked me why I don't use soap, I told her that it's not like I piss all over my hands.

I see a lot of people who do that. I always feel like telling them that if they aren't using soap, there isn't much use of running water over your hands...

I usually don't though. That would be weird.

i am neurotic about checking to make sure there's toilet paper before i use the facilities. getting stuck without it is the worst.....especially in a public place.

I secretly love it when people use my quotes in their sigs.

oddzy wrote:i am neurotic about checking to make sure there's toilet paper before i use the facilities. getting stuck without it is the worst.....especially in a public place.

totally happened to me a few months ago. wound up ass-grinding the wall. futile.

it's alright when it hardens, you can chip it off with a fingernail.



postsecret quickly removed that one, ftr.

BigBallinStalin wrote:I knew a guy who did something bit a stranger than that. Whenever he put a letter in the post box, everytime he'd think that his kids were somehow in that letter. SO he had to do something, right? He'd launch his arm into there trying to free his children, and then try kicking it to bust it open. The even stranger thing is that he knew this was all crazy, he knew his children couldn't possibly be in that letter, but he had to confirm it. Every time.

Congrats on failing to follow to the one rule of this thread SmallBalls.




I've always wondered what it'd be like to give birth

My very first celebrity crush was:



[spoiler]OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN[/spoiler]