Conquer Club

Dearest Honey Thingy,

You have done well for yourself, little wooden honey thing. I suspect you have a kick-ass publicist, since NOBODY ACTUALLY USES YOU.

If I were that cute bear-shaped squeeze bottle of honey in my kitchen, I'd be on the phone with my agent right now, tearing him a new one.

Much Peace,

Creepers




PS: I don't know who wrote that quote, but I found it posted here: http://www.seriouseats.com/2007/06/does ... -thin.html

Dear $120 per month to the townhouse association,

This is the fourth time it's snowed this year. Each time it snows, you, dear money, do nothing to assist. Ostensibly you are paid to the townhouse association so that the association may pay for snowplows for the roads and a large group of erstwhile landscaping employees to shovel all the walks. However, each time it snows these things aren't done until 12 to 18 hours after the snow stops.

So, each time it snows, I have to go out and shovel my sidewalk (and my neighbors' sidewalks), around my car, and around mrs. thegreekdog's car (you've met her...). Not only is this a waste of my time, but it is a waste of you as well.

I hope we can come to some agreement regarding the further necessity of sending you to the townhouse association every month.

Best Regards,

thegreekdog

Dear CC Moderators,

Thanks

bedub1 wrote:Dear CC Moderators,

Thanks

It took almost 19 hours before that one. I'm shocked it took that long! SHOCKED!

thegreekdog wrote:

bedub1 wrote:Dear CC Moderators,

Thanks

It took almost 19 hours before that one. I'm shocked it took that long! SHOCKED!

Also appalled.

Seriously, back in the day we'd have cracked that joke within 10 minutes.

Dear,
Belgium.
Thanks

Dear Thread of Useless things,

Love, Army of GOD

MeDeFe wrote:

thegreekdog wrote:

bedub1 wrote:Dear CC Moderators,

Thanks

It took almost 19 hours before that one. I'm shocked it took that long! SHOCKED!

Also appalled.

Seriously, back in the day we'd have cracked that joke within 10 minutes.

Yeah.....we really are getting lazy. Or are you guys getting better?

Dear The Society,
Where the f*ck are you?


You're all Lazy C*nts,
Juan_Bottom

thegreekdog wrote: So, each time it snows, I have to go out and shovel my sidewalk (and my neighbors' sidewalks), around my car, and around mrs. thegreekdog's car (you've met her...). Not only is this a waste of my time, but it is a waste of you as well.

You're a lawyer...

He kinda looks like this guy:





AND I'M ON TOPIC LOL

Cocktail Umbrellas.
I mean, really...

is it cold?....

MeDeFe wrote:

thegreekdog wrote:

bedub1 wrote:Dear CC Moderators,

Thanks

It took almost 19 hours before that one. I'm shocked it took that long! SHOCKED!

Also appalled.

Seriously, back in the day we'd have cracked that joke within 10 minutes.

And banned the person who said it too.

My contribution is this;

Never used. At all except when we first got these alien shaped emoticons.

--Andy

AAFitz wrote:

for fucks sake fitz! - are you so fucking dumb that you have never been shown the on / off woman switch?
Learn where it is and flick it to on when it's bedtime. switch to off when you want to go fishing or football.

i'd say the woman on / off switch is very important. not useless.

Come to think about it. I'm pretty sure Fitz is a woolly.

Pedronicus wrote:

AAFitz wrote:

for fucks sake fitz! - are you so fucking dumb that you have never been shown the on / off woman switch?
Learn where it is and flick it to on when it's bedtime. switch to off when you want to go fishing or football.

i'd say the woman on / off switch is very important. not useless.

The way to a girls heart is through her appendix....is that what youre saying?

Just so you know though...you have one of those too...but hey, whatever turns you on....who am I to say.

for what its worth though...I liked your response...I hope that doesnt inflame your appendix though...

stop it you fool! - you're only making yourself look even more stupid than you are. Everyone knows that your apendix is in the middle of your left earlobe, thats why when you get pierced, you've had you apendix out.

no

what you have missed is the woman off on switch, and that is why i think you like it up the gary glitter

Pedronicus wrote:stop it you fool! - you're only making yourself look even more stupid than you are. Everyone knows that your apendix is in the middle of your left earlobe, thats why when you get pierced, you've had you apendix out.

no

what you have missed is the woman off on switch, and that is why i think you like it up the gary glitter

Youre half right... I have no idea how to turn off a woman.

Actually that isnt true.... I once showed a girl a train I spent a few hours spray painting...that pretty much turned her right off

For the rest, a smile, a witty compliment with a wink, a well timed arm rub... does the trick every time....







well, that and the $100