Conquer Club

I put her on the bed and try to take her pants off, but she kicks and yells and tries to bite me! It's terrible! I know I need to start practicing the techniques now with my sister, so when I get older I'm more experienced, but she won't let me! If anyone is an expert at child care, please help me out! She needs her diaper changed and I can't get her to calm down! I hope when I have children they don't act like this! What can I do to help the situation??

I am going to assume you mean how do you change a diaper? If you mean anything else you are in serious trouble.

Bruceswar wrote:I am going to assume you mean how do you change a diaper? If you mean anything else you are in serious trouble.

Of course he means changing a diaper, what the heck did you think he meant? perv

Tell here you saw a big ol' spider crawling up her leg, and those pants will be off in a jiff.

I discovered a way to introduce fun into nappy changing;

I used to squirt a reasonable amount of zippo lighter fluid on the nappy crotch, then ask her straightforward questions like are you awake, are you a boy, are you in the bath. As soon as she answered incorrectly, I would set fire to the lighter fluid on her nappy and run round the room singing "Liar, Liar - your pants are on fire!"

How we laughed as we sat in the burns unit of the local A&E dept.

grifftron wrote:

Bruceswar wrote:I am going to assume you mean how do you change a diaper? If you mean anything else you are in serious trouble.

Of course he means changing a diaper, what the heck did you think he meant? perv

It is the internet... you never know with people...

Pedronicus wrote:I discovered a way to introduce fun into nappy changing;

I used to squirt a reasonable amount of zippo lighter fluid on the nappy crotch, then ask her straightforward questions like are you awake, are you a boy, are you in the bath. As soon as she answered incorrectly, I would set fire to the lighter fluid on her nappy and run round the room singing "Liar, Liar - your pants are on fire!"

How we laughed as we sat in the burns unit of the local A&E dept.

This was more messed up then the OP

Do it the same way I take nietzsche's sister's pants off. Tell her you're a certified gynecologist.