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101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:40 am
by Pedronicus
1. I didn't know murder was illegal
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:45 am
by 2dimes
2. Your honour, you got any weed?
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:45 am
by Timminz
3. Well yeah I did it, but good luck proving it.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:52 am
by Serbia
4. Can we hurry this up? I got tickets to see Slayer tonight.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:54 am
by paradise28
4. -Your Honor, I object!
-On what grounds?
-On the grounds of Brooklyn.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:59 am
by xman5151
6. Can we hurry up, my kids are waiting in the car
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:24 pm
by 2dimes
7. Can we hurry up, some kids are waiting in the trunk of my car
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:26 pm
by IcePack
8. Can we hurry up, I have to find my kids.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:31 pm
by Army of GOD
9. f*ck da police, comin' straight from the underground
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:11 pm
by whitestazn88
10. Sorry I was late, I couldn't find my wife.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:17 pm
by Pedronicus
11. I'm black and...
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:20 pm
by crazymilkshake5
12. Yes, Jim is in the well. and no, I dont know how he got there.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:22 pm
by hotfire
13. What do you mean I can't wear my hat?
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:43 pm
by IcePack
14. Your honor they have no proof! They didn't look in the trunk.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:55 pm
by Agent 86
15. Yes
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:26 pm
by Fruitcake
Oh, do you like this Franck Muller Aeternitas Mega 4? I rather like it myself, bought it off this guy in the pub.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:35 pm
by KoolBak
Depose THIS!! *grabs*
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:51 pm
by AndyDufresne
16. Please sir, may I have some more?
--Andy
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:02 pm
by Pedronicus
17. you call that a sentence? I could do that standing in a bucket of shit in a Siberian winter!
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:05 pm
by Crazyirishman
20. With all due respect your honor, blow me.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:14 pm
by Symmetry
18) "I plead the fifth" (anywhere other than the US)
19) "Your Honor, every one of these letters is addressed to Santa Claus. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore the Post Office Department, a branch of the Federal Government, recognizes this man Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus." (anywhere other than 34th Street)
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:03 pm
by 2dimes
23. I'm totally going to rape juror 7 next.
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:15 pm
by Serbia
21) GUILTY?! Da fuck kinda ruling is that?! Stupid ass Judge, you just a punk ass bitch!
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:19 pm
by Symmetry
22) All rise! (non-court-officials only)
Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:54 pm
by BigBallinStalin
23. I refuse to swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth while placing my hand on a book of fairy tales. It would be a mockery of justice.