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Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:04 pm
by GabonX
AN extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball.
War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down.

The priest’s document has now come to light – 23 years after Johan’s death.

The war tyrant’s medical condition has been mocked for years in a British song.

The lyrics are: “Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was small.’

Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic – the medical term for having one testicle.

But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in World War I.



Saved Hitler ... Johan Jambor
He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation.

Johan’s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest’s account of how the medic saved Hitler’s life. He said: “In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme.

“For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler.

“They called him the ‘Screamer’. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help’.

“His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’.”

Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler.

Hitler’s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians dismissed the “one ball” song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler backed it up.

Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.

It is the first time an interview with anyone who treated Hitler during WWI has come to light.

Dr Martin Farr, senior lecturer at Newcastle University School of Historical Studies, said last night: “This genuinely new twist is fascinating.”


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... 945960.ece

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:07 pm
by jonesthecurl
...and poor old Goebells had noebells at all.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:08 pm
by jonesthecurl
..and Himmler was somewhat simmler.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:09 pm
by Gypsys Kiss
Ahhhhhhhhhhh......a fine upstanding quality publication. Who is on page 3?

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:11 pm
by GabonX
Can someone fill me in as to what the cirticism of the Sun is? I only read the articles when I'm linked to them and people here seem to have a problem with it. Are they known to post false information or do they just not have a liberal bias or have a conservative bias?

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:20 pm
by pimpdave
GabonX wrote:Can someone fill me in as to what the cirticism of the Sun is? I only read the articles when I'm linked to them and people here seem to have a problem with it. Are they known to post false information or do they just not have a liberal bias or have a conservative bias?
They're like The Star is here. Tabloid and ridiculous.

Only a step above National Enquirer.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:22 pm
by Gypsys Kiss
It is just gutter journalism. Out for cheap thrills and shock headlines. Its not the only one many any means, just one of the worst. They print what they want and pay damages later. They dont care about anyone or anything, just so long as they sell their tripe, and yes I do have a personal gripe against the sun.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:23 pm
by gordon1975
anyone no if kids still sing that in the playground? i did

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 3:07 pm
by Curmudgeonx
As the Nobel Poet Laureate Stephen Lynch so immortally placed into song:
All my days
I live with my disgrace
I'm afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It's a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don't stare

Well I'm a gambling man with out two dice
I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I'm half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man

Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I can't find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear “ball one�

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that's there must feel so sad
He's a lonely nad

Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I'm half a man

Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I'm just half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 3:10 pm
by Curmudgeonx
Unless we were talking about nazis, instead of singular testicular condition, then Stephen Lynch had a song about that too:
You're the love of my life
but it cuts like a knife and I feel that I'm being misled
See I'm a little concerned for I've recently learned of the swastika tattoo on your head
And it makes you smile when you hear "Sieg Heil!"
You love the smell of a burning cross in the yard
You do goose step salutes in your Doc Martin boots, and you quoted Mein Kampf in our 5th anniversary card.

I think you're a nazi baby,
are you a nazi? You might be a nazi baby...

You keep extensive files on the Nuremberg trials, and you watch them whenever they're airing
I guess I should've known when you bought a new bone for your puppies named Goebbles and Goering
You showed up late to our very first date, I said "how are you?"; you said "white power";
Call me paranoid but I'm not overjoyed when you ask me if I want to shower
...I think you're a nazi
Don't be lying baby,
Are you a nazi?
Are you anti-Zion baby?

Your every dress is monagram SS, you hold an Aryan picknick and bash
And it makes me irate when you say I look great when I wear a little tiny moustache,
Your social politics say that races don't mix, and you call it pure blood pollution
And whenever I'm sad, you say it's not so bad, for every problem there's a Final Solution;
...I think you're a nazi,
Give me an answer baby
Are you a nazi?
You drive a f**king panzer baby

You say that love is blind so how could I have guessed
But then again I met you at the Wagner Fest

I know you're a nazi
And that's why I'm leavin'
I know you're a nazi

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:54 pm
by Snorri1234
Wait, does this mean Obama also only has one ball?


(Also yay for curm posting Stehpen lynch songs.)

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:00 pm
by pimpdave
Snorri1234 wrote:Wait, does this mean Obama also only has one ball?
Affirmative. Otherwise logic would cease to exist.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:21 pm
by jonesthecurl
Left or Right?

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:27 pm
by HapSmo19
Centrist.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:38 pm
by GabonX
Snorri1234 wrote:Wait, does this mean Obama also only has one ball?


(Also yay for curm posting Stehpen lynch songs.)
Ha ha..

We all know Obama doesn't have any balls.

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:06 pm
by jonesthecurl
Won't he have an inaugural ball?

Re: Hitler only had one ball

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:08 pm
by GabonX
jonesthecurl wrote:Won't he have an inaugural ball?
Probably, which will reaffirm that there's nothing between his legs.

Re: it was obviously the left one

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:15 am
by oVo
History doesn't require further proof that he was a nut.