Conquer Club

Hey there all you sexy singles, please join the new Conquer Club Dating Service! Conquer Club is the perfect avenue to discover your soul mate! Why bother with those "other" dating services? Here at CC you already know that you have something in common! Simply fill out the questionnaire below and our "computer matching machine developed by NASA" will pair you up with your soulmate!



Name:
Sex:
Sign:
Approximate Location:
Interested in?: (i.e. Men)
Interests other than CC(?):
(if you are racist be sure to say so to avoid any embarrassments!)


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know)

Bank Routing Number?*:

Religion?:

3rd Grade teacher's name?*:

Work/School status*:

Smoke/Drink?:

Favorite Passwords?*:

Introverted/Extrovered?:

Why can't you find anyone on your own?:

Size/acivity?: (i. e. skinny, thin, average, more of me to love, extra helping of Miracle whip please!)

Credit cards?*:

Do you have children?*: (please also provide names and birthdates)

Pets?*: (again, name's too)

What are your future plans?:

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*:


Describe yourself?:





Describe your soulmate?:








And that's it! You've completed all of the questions! Please wait patiently while we fill our "database" with other people looking for love! You will be sent copys of other people's questionnaires for review as soon as you are matched. From there, you may choose to contact the person, or continue searching!

Name: Bryan Barnes Quinn (yes, really)
Sex: the superior one
Sign: the bipolar twins
Approximate Location: between Atlanta and the Atlantic
Interested in?: Maidens and she-folk
Interests other than CC(?): pillow fights, musicals, swing dancing
(if you are racist be sure to say so to avoid any embarrassments!)
i disklike Scandinavians


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know)
he is moderately humorous.
Bank Routing Number?*: 42

Religion?: yep

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Mrs. M. Glass

Work/School status*: poor college student

Smoke/Drink?: no/sometimes

Favorite Passwords?*: most of them involve my left middle toe

Introverted/Extrovered?: dunno what extrovered means but it sounds naughty so lets go with that

Why can't you find anyone on your own?:
all the women i talk to end up either being lesbians or killing themselves

Size/acivity?: (i. e. skinny, thin, average, more of me to love, extra helping of Miracle whip please!)
slim/as often as possible

Credit cards?*: none

Do you have children?*: (please also provide names and birthdates)
none that i know of

Pets?*: (again, name's too)
none that i know of

What are your future plans?:
i think i'll have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow morning

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*:
of course, i have pancake mix and eggs in the fridge!

Describe yourself?:
i like to say statements and commands in question form?

Describe your soulmate?:
the first sucker with boobs who fills out one of these forms

bbqpenguin wrote:Name: Bryan Barnes Quinn (yes, really)
Sex: the superior one
Sign: the bipolar twins
Approximate Location: between Atlanta and the Atlantic
Interested in?: Maidens and she-folk
Interests other than CC(?): pillow fights, musicals, swing dancing
(if you are racist be sure to say so to avoid any embarrassments!)
i disklike Scandinavians


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know)
he is moderately humorous.
Bank Routing Number?*: 42

Religion?: yep

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Mrs. M. Glass

Work/School status*: poor college student

Smoke/Drink?: no/sometimes

Favorite Passwords?*: most of them involve my left middle toe

Introverted/Extrovered?: dunno what extrovered means but it sounds naughty so lets go with that

Why can't you find anyone on your own?:
all the women i talk to end up either being lesbians or killing themselves

Size/acivity?: (i. e. skinny, thin, average, more of me to love, extra helping of Miracle whip please!)
slim/as often as possible

Credit cards?*: none

Do you have children?*: (please also provide names and birthdates)
none that i know of

Pets?*: (again, name's too)
none that i know of

What are your future plans?:
i think i'll have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow morning

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*:
of course, i have pancake mix and eggs in the fridge!

Describe yourself?:
i like to say statements and commands in question form?

Describe your soulmate?:
the first sucker with boobs who fills out one of these forms

wanna cyber?

Name: Nick Jonas
Sex: Female
Sign: Gay?
Approximate Location: Behind my brother.
Interested in?: (i.e. Men) Men
Interests other than CC(?): Being really gay, embarrassing myself, rimming my bros, sucking cock.


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know) No, but he's hot.

Bank Routing Number?*: ----><--------

Religion?: Gaytopia

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Mrs. Shitinpants

Work/School status*: Dropout

Smoke/Drink?: Weed, Cocaine

Favorite Passwords?*: Ilovemyselfabigdick

Introverted/Extrovered?: ?

Why can't you find anyone on your own?: Because everyone hates me

Size/acivity?: Anorexic

Credit cards?*: --------------> D:

Do you have children?*: No

Pets?*: No

What are your future plans?: Continue being worthless

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*: No

Describe yourself?: No

Describe your soulmate?: Likes to take it hard up the arse.

Name: Sam (You dont need to know the rest )
Sex: Penis
Sign: Middle Finger
Approximate Location: NC then to OR, then to WA
Interested in?: Boobs
Interests other than CC(?): Shootin people


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: Fraud but still funny

Religion?: Agnostic

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Mrs.White i believe

Work/School status*: Army

Smoke/Drink?: Both

Favorite Passwords?*: Jomama

Why can't you find anyone on your own?: Because im a poor loser! CRY!

Size/acivity?: (i. e. skinny, thin, average, more of me to love, extra helping of Miracle whip please!) More to LOVE

Credit cards?*: Plenty

Do you have children?*: 8, Jay, Joe, John, Johanna, Joy, Juliet, Jason, Alfred

Pets?*: (again, name's too) My cat Boots

What are your future plans?: Stay military? I dont know.

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*: Hell no, i spend like crazy


Describe yourself?: No





Describe your soulmate?: Shes hot

Name: Hubert William Wellington III
Sex: Yes.
Sign: Is that the movie with Mel Gibson?
Approximate Location: Centre of the universe.
Interested in?: Bitches
Interests other than CC(?): Gangsta rap, racism


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: I know turds with more personality and better jokes.

Bank Routing Number?*: 908349883

Religion?: Satanism

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Pussy Galore

Work/School status*: Failing

Smoke/Drink?: Yes and yes.

Favorite Passwords?*: well I always use "penisking"

Introverted/Extrovered?: just plain verted

Why can't you find anyone on your own?: I can, but it takes more effort.

Size/acivity?: About 400 pounds

Credit cards?*: no

Do you have children?*: I hope not.

Pets?*: Yes.

What are your future plans?: Take over the world

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*: I don't need credit, I need supporters.


Describe yourself?: Sexy!





Describe your soulmate?: Sexy.

It's a bloody sausage factory in here

Name: G. Christian Brown
Sex: Male
Sign: Earth Snake with Horse tendencies.
Approximate Location: Canada City, Canada.
Interested in?: Not picky.
Interests other than CC(?):
- Art
-Music
-Films

Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: What? Like funny-looking? I'd do him, but I won't laugh.

Bank Routing Number?*: 8? I dunno, I'm broke.

Religion?: Atheist.

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Cindy.

Work/School status*: Fine arts student.

Smoke/Drink?: No.

Favorite Safewords?*: Shadenfreude.

Introverted/Extrovered?: Introverted, mostly.

Why can't you find anyone on your own?: I already have.

Size/acivity?: Average, relatively fit.

Credit cards?*: Nope.

Do you have children?*: Not anymore.

Pets?*: No.

What are your future plans?: I don't have any.

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*:
No.

Describe yourself?:
Warm skin.
Has pulse.
Pretty nice guy.


Describe your soulmate?:
Warm skin.
Has pulse.
Isn't a bitch.

Name: Anything you want to call me
Sex: No, why do you think I'm filling in this form
Sign: Pyrex
Approximate Location: On the corner of Lonely Street
Interested in?: (i.e. Men) Women..........but I'm getting desperate
Interests other than CC(?): what do you mean 'other than CC'



Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know) Who!

Bank Routing Number?*: PM me and we will swap

Religion?: Huh!

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Miss Dykes-Brown(that is the gods honest truth)

Work/School status*: Failed pimp

Smoke/Drink?: Yes/Yes

Favorite Passwords?*: Supercalifragilisticexpyalidotious

Introverted/Extrovered?: perverted

Why can't you find anyone on your own?: Why, when I've got you to do it for me

Size/acivity?: long, thick/not recently

Credit cards?*: Nah

Do you have children?*: Only if they are over 16

Pets?*: see above

What are your future plans?: Sex with as many people as possilble

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*: Your joking surely


Describe yourself?: Sex God in waiting





Describe your soulmate?: Worshipper

Smoke/Drink: Yes.
Describe your soulmate: Someone whos answer would be a wholehearted 'Yes' to the previous question as well.

Can't we keep it simple? A smoking junkie that I can pick up from the gutter at 5am sounds close to perfect.

Judging from the comapany around here you'd better specify gender.

If you're fussy.

I'll go for someone vaguely recognizable as a female. Though a passport to proof it will do.

InkL0sed wrote:

bbqpenguin wrote:Name: Bryan Barnes Quinn (yes, really)
Sex: the superior one
Sign: the bipolar twins
Approximate Location: between Atlanta and the Atlantic
Interested in?: Maidens and she-folk
Interests other than CC(?): pillow fights, musicals, swing dancing
(if you are racist be sure to say so to avoid any embarrassments!)
i disklike Scandinavians


Do you think that Dane Cook is funny?: (seriously we need to know)
he is moderately humorous.
Bank Routing Number?*: 42

Religion?: yep

3rd Grade teacher's name?*: Mrs. M. Glass

Work/School status*: poor college student

Smoke/Drink?: no/sometimes

Favorite Passwords?*: most of them involve my left middle toe

Introverted/Extrovered?: dunno what extrovered means but it sounds naughty so lets go with that

Why can't you find anyone on your own?:
all the women i talk to end up either being lesbians or killing themselves

Size/acivity?: (i. e. skinny, thin, average, more of me to love, extra helping of Miracle whip please!)
slim/as often as possible

Credit cards?*: none

Do you have children?*: (please also provide names and birthdates)
none that i know of

Pets?*: (again, name's too)
none that i know of

What are your future plans?:
i think i'll have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow morning

Have you been watching your credit to make your plans hopefully happen?*:
of course, i have pancake mix and eggs in the fridge!

Describe yourself?:
i like to say statements and commands in question form?

Describe your soulmate?:
the first sucker with boobs who fills out one of these forms

wanna cyber?

as long as your not scandinavian...

bbqpenguin wrote:as long as your not scandinavian...

We have a match? I didn't even have to do anything!

bbqpenguin wrote:as long as your not scandinavian...

What have you got against Swedish people? (Not much of an opinion on Norwegian and Finnish people)

The Neon Peon wrote:

bbqpenguin wrote:as long as your not scandinavian...

What have you got against Swedish people? (Not much of an opinion on Norwegian and Finnish people)

Well, aside from that they are all criminals and perverts, nothing.

The Neon Peon wrote:

bbqpenguin wrote:as long as your not scandinavian...

What have you got against Swedish people? (Not much of an opinion on Norwegian and Finnish people)

But the Danes. Oh, the delicious, delicious Danes. Perfect with coffee.

Wait, you mean they're a people, too? Huh.

spurgistan wrote:

The Neon Peon wrote:

bbqpenguin wrote:as long as your not scandinavian...

What have you got against Swedish people? (Not much of an opinion on Norwegian and Finnish people)

But the Danes. Oh, the delicious, delicious Danes. Perfect with coffee.

Wait, you mean they're a people, too? Huh.

Only by law, spurg. Only by law.

Snorri1234 wrote:Only by law, spurg. Only by law.

But surely not by God's law?

Dane Cook isn't funny; he's just persistent.

There's a big difference.

pimpdave wrote:Dane Cook isn't funny; he's just persistent.

There's a big difference.

Whatever happened to Snorri? His plans obviously didn't pan out, but he was hilarious and is missed. BBQ too.

Also, this thread nose dived pretty quickly huh? A few of you went to Plenty of Fish and I know it, because I stalked you there. But I won't name any names.