Conquer Club

CrazyAnglican wrote:I am a male (as far as anyone knows) seeking female between the ages of
(35)and (107) for:

(c) exposing the truth

Occupation: Researcher and publicist

Age: 42

Favorite conspiracy: The one that says the Rebellion had something to do with the Death Star malfunction.

Location (if you trust us): PO box cul8tr

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy:

Conspiracies that do not involve aliens. I'm kinda particular.

DaGip wrote:I am a MALE seeking a REPTILIAN DOMINATRIX between the ages of
(24)and (1,250 ) for:


(f) other: kidnapping little children from their cribs and eating their living, screaming, whimpering flesh

Occupation:Tractor Assembly Overlord

Age:38

Favorite conspiracy:At the present moment, Obama's Birth Certificate and Illegal Alien vs Natural Born Citizen Status

Location (if you trust us): No, I don't trust you, so you can find me living with Lack or Twill

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy:

When it comes to conspiracies my biggest turn off is when the truth is bombarded with tons of disinformation whipped up by the Illuminati World Shadow Government that exists somewhere between the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth dimensions. I mean, you can really get your interest hooked on a conspiracy until the fifth dimensional Ninja Nazis start tuning in to your brain frequency and start telling you to: "Vote for Obama...Vote for Obama...Vote for Obama!" Luckily for us Ron Paul supporters, we are never caught without our tin foil hats and repelled the Illuminati Mind Control devices. It's a pity we couldn't have gotten more of the GOP to listen to us when we warned them. Now we have to put up with the AntiLuns for the next 4 years! I guess that's about what really ruins it for me in a conspiracy. (word count please)

luns101 wrote:

DaGip wrote:I am a MALE seeking a REPTILIAN DOMINATRIX between the ages of
(24)and (1,250 ) for:


(f) other: kidnapping little children from their cribs and eating their living, screaming, whimpering flesh

Occupation:Tractor Assembly Overlord

Age:38

Favorite conspiracy:At the present moment, Obama's Birth Certificate and Illegal Alien vs Natural Born Citizen Status

Location (if you trust us): No, I don't trust you, so you can find me living with Lack or Twill

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy:

When it comes to conspiracies my biggest turn off is when the truth is bombarded with tons of disinformation whipped up by the Illuminati World Shadow Government that exists somewhere between the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth dimensions. I mean, you can really get your interest hooked on a conspiracy until the fifth dimensional Ninja Nazis start tuning in to your brain frequency and start telling you to: "Vote for Obama...Vote for Obama...Vote for Obama!" Luckily for us Ron Paul supporters, we are never caught without our tin foil hats and repelled the Illuminati Mind Control devices. It's a pity we couldn't have gotten more of the GOP to listen to us when we warned them. Now we have to put up with the AntiLuns for the next 4 years! I guess that's about what really ruins it for me in a conspiracy. (word count please)

Based on the information provided, we have matched you with...



Serprentor

CrazyAnglican wrote:Hey she doesn't look 35! What do think I am some kind of sicko ?!?!? I'd need a way more mature research assistant!

Juan_Bottom wrote:I actually filled this form out and then saw that there is no "what are you looking for" part.... You ALMOST got me guys....

Serbia wrote:I am a MAN seeking a WOMAN between the ages of
( ? )and ( not too old ) for:

(a) long-term relationship
(b) romance
(c) exposing the truth
(d) one-night stand
(e) survival partner
(f) other: ALL OF THE ABOVE

Occupation: Full-time Red Wings and Lions fan (I'm not insane!)

Age: Unknown

Favorite conspiracy: The Curse of Bobby Layne

Location (if you trust us): Well known to be in Detroit

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy: Let's see... Basically, the Red Wings rule. Doug Brown wore 17 back in the 90's, even though my Dad still thinks of Brett Hull as the only 17, which is currently worn by no one on the roster. Yes, the Red Wings Rule!

I don't talk a whole lot about the Lions in public. I believe that the NFL hates Detroit, Ford, and great running backs from Oklahoma State. I can't stand it when people in general deny conspiracies, by asking questions like "what's wrong with the Lions?" "why did you give away Roy Williams for nothing?" "why did Barry Sanders quit like that?" "what kind of color is Honolulu Blue?!" The answer is simple, and points clearly to the conspiracy... but I best stop here, before I get a knock on my door. I'm just glad I'm out of town, and will be moving from my location again soon, so I should be able to escape from the NFL Zebras - FOR NOW!

Oh I'm also rubbish at counting words.

Serbia wrote:I believe that, though I'm sure she's a fine gal, Ms. Diller doesn't fall under the category of "not too old".

Is there a 2nd choice for me?

Serbia wrote:Thanks Man! I'm sure I'll be able to hook up with one of these fine women!

Little surprised my Governor didn't score higher... maybe because she's Canadian and a Dem. Stands With Fist is looking good though!

luns101 wrote:
I am a l33t NWO puppetmaster seeking a brainwashed world leader between the ages of
( 35 )and ( 80 ) for:

(a) long-term relationship
(b) romance
(c) exposing the truth
(d) one-night stand
(e) survival partner
(f) other: state here - total domination. I'm into the whole master/slave dynamic.

Occupation: string-puller, chip inserter, also enjoys hand-rubbing/cackling

Age: not limited by puny human constraints

Favorite conspiracy:
Sure, the "liberal elite media". Everyone knows liberals can't say 'good morning' without wetting themselves for fear of offending an ethnic minority or monetarily disadvantaged citizen, so this idea that they are supposed to control global propaganda has always made me laugh, in a very deep and evil manner obviously. WE run that shit.

Location (if you trust us): The basement, Denver International Airport, Colorado

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy:
Well, with our patented new NWO chip technology, we can turn you on or off as our whims dictate. We can make you consume, hate french people, vote Obama and even post feverishly on CC, all with this handy remote control.
Seriously though, the worst kind of conspiracy for us l33t bilderberger brethren is one that approaches the unspeakably evil truth. So far most have been bull, but that one about tom cruise being gay - that was a little close to the bone.


*Conquer Club Conspiracy Theorist Dating Service will never reveal your information to any secret agency, government agent, member of the Bush family, illegal military occupational force, or "them". Your secrets are always confidential with us, and will be filed in the same storage facilities that now keep JFK and Elvis alive.

heavycola wrote:
I am a l33t NWO puppetmaster seeking a brainwashed world leader between the ages of
( 35 )and ( 80 ) for:

(a) long-term relationship
(b) romance
(c) exposing the truth
(d) one-night stand
(e) survival partner
(f) other: state here - total domination. I'm into the whole master/slave dynamic.

Occupation: string-puller, chip inserter, also enjoys hand-rubbing/cackling

Age: not limited by puny human constraints

Favorite conspiracy:
Sure, the "liberal elite media". Everyone knows liberals can't say 'good morning' without wetting themselves for fear of offending an ethnic minority or monetarily disadvantaged citizen, so this idea that they are supposed to control global propaganda has always made me laugh, in a very deep and evil manner obviously. WE run that shit.

Location (if you trust us): The basement, Denver International Airport, Colorado

Tell us about yourself - in 100 words or less, describe what really turns you off in a conspiracy:
Well, with our patented new NWO chip technology, we can turn you on or off as our whims dictate. We can make you consume, hate french people, vote Obama and even post feverishly on CC, all with this handy remote control.
Seriously though, the worst kind of conspiracy for us l33t bilderberger brethren is one that approaches the unspeakably evil truth. So far most have been bull, but that one about tom cruise being gay - that was a little close to the bone.


*Conquer Club Conspiracy Theorist Dating Service will never reveal your information to any secret agency, government agent, member of the Bush family, illegal military occupational force, or "them". Your secrets are always confidential with us, and will be filed in the same storage facilities that now keep JFK and Elvis alive.