See it started this morning when I realized I never heard my girlfriend fart. I turn to her and ask "hey _______, do you ever fart?" and she replies "yea of course, but come to think of it I've never farted around you". I asked her "why not?" and she said she just didn't and couldn't explain it, like I was an imaginary cork on her anus. So we decided to conduct and experiment, so I started asking her what made her fart. She drank some OJ, then some coffee from starbucks, and then taco bell, and finally a milkshake. And so we sat in the parking lot at the ice cream parlor and I rubbed her belly and it started to make a gurgling noise and she grunted and went "oomf" a few times. So I decided to reach down her pants rub her asshole to loosen it, and just then she rips a huge nasty wet fart and sigh of relief. I sat in the car enjoying it for a few seconds before her eyes buldged and she told me "GO HOME NOW, IM GONNA SHIT MY PANTS"! So I speed out of the parking lot and hit 2 old ladies in a car because they ran a red light. It would'nt have been my fault and still probably isn't, but they're both dead. To make things worse my girl shit her pants and has been really moody since, I think she might dump me.
