Does Conquer Club get You Tail?

[Wolffystyle]

Professional football players know it.

Hockey players, sure as shit, know it.

Even Poker Players know it...

If one is an elite player in or on their field he/she usually gets a corresponding amount of ass. You see these professional athletes, all collectively dumb and as heavy as a pile of bricks, walking around with the most beautiful girls.

Being good at what one does should catalyze the process of acquiring "tail". Tail- a general term - means: action, ass, sex, or in some cultures, hot wax.

When I told my girlfriend that I was ranked in the top 50 internationally on a site called Conquer Club she acted in a manner OPPOSITE to what I would have expected. She stopped putting out!

So my question remains: Has Conquer Club served as a spark plug for a romantic flame? Has your conquer club score caused you to "score"? I could make a joke about Eagle's begetting eagles, but I'm not that crude...

Anyway, please advise....

[[also keep in mind that this is a joke and I don't need you to post shit about how lame you think I am. If you have something stupid to say...keep off this thread...thanks]]

[sailorseal]

Totally gets me tail not really but at my school everyone plays CC even the teachers

[Wolffystyle]

You, my friend, need to take initiative and send this thread to everyone in your school so that they all know to hand out a correlating amount of "extracurricular activities" to a player's rank, even the teachers...

[sailorseal]

You, my friend, need to take initiative and send this thread to everyone in your school so that they all know to hand out a correlating amount of "extracurricular activities" to a player's rank, even the teachers...

There is a CC elective at our school, we play CC

[captainwalrus]

You, my friend, need to take initiative and send this thread to everyone in your school so that they all know to hand out a correlating amount of "extracurricular activities" to a player's rank, even the teachers...

There is a CC elective at our school, we play CC

That would be awesome. I am pretty sure that I am the only one in my school that plays. A few of my friends tried it but got board. To answer the question though, no it hasn't, but then again, I'm not very good.

[Optimus Prime]

Yep, and some mighty fine "tail" at that. You should see what happens when I conquer my lady's kamchatcka.

[sailorseal]

Yep, and some mighty fine "tail" at that. You should see what happens when I conquer my lady's kamchatcka.

[Wolffystyle]

Yep, and some mighty fine "tail" at that. You should see what happens when I conquer my lady's kamchatcka.

I'd bet that your witty double entendres also play a key factor in unlocking doors.

[Beckytheblondie]

Totally gets me tail not really but at my school everyone plays CC even the teachers

Thats crazy... is it high school or something? Did it just get popular?

[prismsaber]

Excellent post.

The problem with this analogy is that cc players do not make any money for being bad ass. In fact, we become poorer. Moreover, the average cc'er also gets in worse physical shape the better they get at the game as opposed to the elite hockey player.

Therefore I would say the elite cc'er in fact gets less tail than they would had they never played the game in the first place. They do, however, get more webcam action.

[Wolffystyle]

Excellent post.

The problem with this analogy is that cc players do not make any money for being bad ass. In fact, we become poorer. Moreover, the average cc'er also gets in worse physical shape the better they get at the game as opposed to the elite hockey player.

Therefore I would say the elite cc'er in fact gets less tail than they would had they never played the game in the first place. They do, however, get more webcam action.

Very well thought through.... I suppose that you and I are in the minority when we do Kegel excercizes while we play Cc? ...

Please, please, please do not discount the importance of 'webcam action', I mean, it has been my dream to have two monitors up: the first with a New World map and the second with a half naked Comanche princess dancing about.

[Foxglove]

When I told my girlfriend that I was ranked in the top 50 internationally on a site called Conquer Club she acted in a manner OPPOSITE to what I would have expected. She stopped putting out!
...
Anyway, please advise....

So, clearly, you need to step up your game and work on your delivery. You need to emphasize to your girl how you're AMAZING and a WINNER. Everyone loves a winner. Granted, money + winning is usually an unbeatable combination, but winning on its own should also be sufficient. Also, an extra hint: omit pro words like catalyze in your "by the way, I'm full of awesome" conversation - compliments are more effective.

[Beckytheblondie]

Excellent post.

The problem with this analogy is that cc players do not make any money for being bad ass. In fact, we become poorer. Moreover, the average cc'er also gets in worse physical shape the better they get at the game as opposed to the elite hockey player.

Therefore I would say the elite cc'er in fact gets less tail than they would had they never played the game in the first place. They do, however, get more webcam action.

Very well thought through.... I suppose that you and I are in the minority when we do Kegel excercizes while we play Cc? ...

Please, please, please do not discount the importance of 'webcam action', I mean, it has been my dream to have two monitors up: the first with a New World map and the second with a half naked Comanche princess dancing about.

That's really weird man, you're nuts, I myself have a fantasy of Arms Race! on and a Russian mail order bride on the other. Oh baby oh baby

[Wolffystyle]

When I told my girlfriend that I was ranked in the top 50 internationally on a site called Conquer Club she acted in a manner OPPOSITE to what I would have expected. She stopped putting out!
...
Anyway, please advise....

So, clearly, you need to step up your game and work on your delivery. You need to emphasize to your girl how you're AMAZING and a WINNER. Everyone loves a winner. Granted, money + winning is usually an unbeatable combination, but winning on its own should also be sufficient. Also, an extra hint: omit pro words like catalyze in your "by the way, I'm full of awesome" conversation - compliments are more effective.

Hey Foxglove, what happens when a Wolf and a Fox crossbreed? Well, Wikipedia says it can't happen... but what do you say we get together and try? Wait... See, I've already forgotten to take your advice. Let me try again:

Hi Foxglove, being a Brigadier is hard work. Sure enough, as they say in Latin, "aquila non capit muscam", an Eagle doesn't catch flies. Let me put this another way: I'm a hard worker and a proven winner. You, the beauty that you are, deserve a winner. I'm not about to waste my gifts on anything less than perfect. Herein lies the reason I'm talking to you right now, Perfect. How about letting me find your multis...

How's that?

Oh, PS: My portfolio is worth, like, a hundred trillion Zimbabwe Dollars.... (before the 12 zero drop)

[cpurcell]

Any of the people that I tell that I play CC look at me like I'm nuts! The girls (for the most part) seem to be fine with it, but not actually dig it... just my experiences.
---C

[Foxglove]

When I told my girlfriend that I was ranked in the top 50 internationally on a site called Conquer Club she acted in a manner OPPOSITE to what I would have expected. She stopped putting out!
...
Anyway, please advise....

So, clearly, you need to step up your game and work on your delivery. You need to emphasize to your girl how you're AMAZING and a WINNER. Everyone loves a winner. Granted, money + winning is usually an unbeatable combination, but winning on its own should also be sufficient. Also, an extra hint: omit pro words like catalyze in your "by the way, I'm full of awesome" conversation - compliments are more effective.

Hey Foxglove, what happens when a Wolf and a Fox crossbreed? Well, Wikipedia says it can't happen... but what do you say we get together and try? Wait... See, I've already forgotten to take your advice. Let me try again:

Hi Foxglove, being a Brigadier is hard work. Sure enough, as they say in Latin, "aquila non capit muscam", an Eagle doesn't catch flies. Let me put this another way: I'm a hard worker and a proven winner. You, the beauty that you are, deserve a winner. I'm not about to waste my gifts on anything less than perfect. Herein lies the reason I'm talking to you right now, Perfect. How about letting me find your multis...

How's that?

Oh, PS: My portfolio is worth, like, a hundred trillion Zimbabwe Dollars.... (before the 12 zero drop)

Hmmmm.... Latin? Definitely not following my advice. I yawned there, and I am no where close to swooning, putting out, or succumbing to your charms.

I am responsive to compliments though, so that's a step in the right direction. And a high rank like yours does have a certain irresistability to it. Perhaps you should get a few tips from prismsaber about how he gets me girls to cam for him.

Also: I hear that the Zimbabwe market isn't doing so hot - even with all of the trillion dollar bills fresh off the press. Maybe you have an account in euros?

[Mr Changsha]

My wife seems to see my CC addiction as a reasonably sane use of my time and does take comfort from the fact that when I am playing CC I am not in a bar getting legless. So on that level CC is good. However, if I happen to shuffle up to the old girl and whisper into her delicate ear "I just won a 100 round 8 man after 40 fucking rounds of end game" (true by the way...40 rounds!!!) then she doesn' t tend to start unbuckling the old battle bra and assuming the position. I tend to get more of a blank stare and maybe she jumps on for a cuddle for a bit and gets in the way of the screen...

[Shivas]

Ok folks. I hate to be the downer (an old hippy type term), but I am here to represent the truth. We, as a collective body, are gamers. And in CC’s case, on-line gamers. Let’s get real … you know what that makes us? The antithesis of the hot jocks, of the bone crushing check ‘em into the boards skaters, of square jawed, testosterone laced stud-muffins, who can make a brazillion dollars running like the wind, throwing a ball outta sight, hitting the little ball into the hole, out of the park, or into the net.

In a way, SOME people may look at our ilk as, should I say it? Nerds, dorks, geeks, dweebs, techies, gamers, nimrods, losers, drips … whatever! And I say so what? Our women want us for what we have and what we are. So hike up you pants, add a highliter to the collection in your pocket protector, tape your glasses together, clean up the coke cans and pizza boxes away from your computer and buy your honey a bouquet of roses. Celebrate Pi-day with her and whisper sweet algorithms in her ear. Tell her some really funny engineering jokes and buy her dinner at some place nicer than a fast food. I can guarantee that you will get what you desire ….

I hope.

Its been awhile. You see, I’ve been in this doubles game … and you know, time, strategy, and I just know the dice will be good to me …. Besides she’s usually asleep by the time I go to bed. There’s always tomorrow night.

[Robinette]

Fun thread.. i really enjoyed the wit and the double entendres...

Okay, now i need to add something worthy to this thread...
mnnnnn.... something funny... something nerdy.... something sexy....


oh oh oh ... i know...

*fumbles through stacks of pictures*

found it...

[Wolffystyle]

Haha, this r0x0Яz! Is this a photo of you?

¢0n9µ3Я ¢lµ6 §h0µ1∂ g3† .\\3 l41d!!!!

Wolff

[Robinette]

Haha, this r0x0Яz! Is this a photo of you?

¢0n9µ3Я ¢lµ6 §h0µ1∂ g3† .\\3 l41d!!!!

Wolff

sorry... i'm not nerdy enough to know what that means...

[Wolffystyle]

Haha, this r0x0Яz! Is this a photo of you?

¢0n9µ3Я ¢lµ6 §h0µ1∂ g3† .\\3 l41d!!!!

Wolff

sorry... i'm not nerdy enough to know what that means...

You should probably get Shivas to help you with that, he seems like a complete nerd!

Again, I want to reinforce that you don't have to be "nerdy" to read the above, you just have to be "sexy"...

Wolff

[jbrettlip]

On a related note, I am trying to come up with a term for being "serviced" by my lady while playing CC. Kinda like a "blumpklin" (on the commode). Of course it has never happened but I do have an anniversary in May.....

[lozzini]

Haha, this r0x0Яz! Is this a photo of you?

¢0n9µ3Я ¢lµ6 §h0µ1∂ g3† .\\3 l41d!!!!

Wolff

sorry... i'm not nerdy enough to know what that means...

You should probably get Shivas to help you with that, he seems like a complete nerd!

Again, I want to reinforce that you don't have to be "nerdy" to read the above, you just have to be "sexy"...

Wolff

conquer club should get laid? :S

[SirSebstar]

nope,
I won a chess championship when I was younger, and just mentioning that made me close to a paria.
was dutch chapmion Bloodbowl 2008, and nobody thought anything high for it, busted a jobinterview though. They did not want freaks as employee's.
And CC? Jup my GF is nearly ready to end our relationship just on the mention of the game..
Nope being good at games never paid off for me.

Ofcourse all the skills I get from them did, but I just never mention how I got them..