Kids Say the Darndest Things

[Sackett58]

Wife and 5 year old son go for a walk to pick up the daughter at school. On the way the son ponders whether his new basketball coach will be a boy or a girl.
Mother replies: Probably a boy but girls play basketball too.
(boy expressed surprise)
Boy: Really?
Mother: Girls can do everything.
(pause)
Boy: Wellllllllllllll, they can't pee standing up.
(wife starts to laugh)
Mother: Why do you say that?
Boy: Because they don't have a penis and they can't aim.

At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part.

[captain.crazy]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

[PLAYER57832]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

[captain.crazy]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

I read it correctly the first time. the last line states:

"At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part."

I read this as suggesting that the boy had all of the other facts wrong... women must have penis's and can aim their piss. what did I miss?

[Eliminator15]

Family Guy is a good show lol

[Timminz]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

I've been having trouble with my reading comprehension lately. Do you offer lessons?

[Woodruff]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

I read it correctly the first time. the last line states:
"At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part."
I read this as suggesting that the boy had all of the other facts wrong... women must have penis's and can aim their piss. what did I miss?

You mean besides "almost everything"?

[captain.crazy]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

I read it correctly the first time. the last line states:
"At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part."
I read this as suggesting that the boy had all of the other facts wrong... women must have penis's and can aim their piss. what did I miss?

You mean besides "almost everything"?

yeah... as far as I know, women don't have penis's and cannot piss standing up.

[Timminz]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

I read it correctly the first time. the last line states:
"At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part."
I read this as suggesting that the boy had all of the other facts wrong... women must have penis's and can aim their piss. what did I miss?

You mean besides "almost everything"?

yeah... as far as I know, women don't have penis's and cannot piss standing up.

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

[captain.crazy]

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

Tell me what I am missing. It doesn't make sense.

[Timminz]

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

Tell me what I am missing. It doesn't make sense.

It's okay. Don't worry about it.

[captain.crazy]

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

Tell me what I am missing. It doesn't make sense.

It's okay. Don't worry about it.

Oh, I see... you don't get it either.

Glad I'm not the only one...

by the way, if this is all about physically being able to stand up and piss, even though it only ensures that women will get piss all over themselves, then this is a stupid joke.

[apey]

My 8 yr old son went swimming the other day and a group of three girls got his attention (as he put it I wanted the oldest one to b my wife mom) But anyways he was using this squirt gun that sucks water into itself. He carried on flirting with these girls for an hour squirting them and teasing them. So eventually they went to the hot tub to escape my pest of a son.
And what does my son do
He goes to the hot tub sucks up some of the water holds the gun above his head and announces "I HAVE COOTIES!!!!"


and the other day I was teaching him how to do dishes and he asked why he had to learn and i replied "because you have to do dishes when you grow up"

to which he replied "No my wife will b doing my dishes"
my son kills me

[StiffMittens]

so, women have a penis and can aim their piss while standing?

reread it.

I read it correctly the first time. the last line states:
"At least the boy knows the proper name for his anatomical part."
I read this as suggesting that the boy had all of the other facts wrong... women must have penis's and can aim their piss. what did I miss?

You mean besides "almost everything"?

yeah... as far as I know, women don't have penis's and cannot piss standing up.

http://tinyurl.com/nd3m3s

[captain.crazy]

http://tinyurl.com/nd3m3s

lol... that's great.

[hecter]

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

Tell me what I am missing. It doesn't make sense.

All the negatives. Don't and can't and whatnot. Christ...

Sorry for ruining it guys.

[jonesthecurl]

The most amusing thing the curlette said was when she was about 5.
She said, "Daddy, that man on the TV just said the "R" word."
"OH, that was naughty." said I.
Then I thought.
And I thought.
And I thought some more.
"R" word?
I ran through all the obscenities and cusses she might have heard somewhere, and nopr I didn't know what she meant.
Eventually I said "Honey, I don't know what you mean by the"R" word, please tell me. It's OK for you to say it this once."
She replied "Arse."

[Sackett58]

http://tinyurl.com/nd3m3s

lol... that's great.

I will have to show it to the boy at a later date.

[PLAYER57832]

My husband had a picture book. My son (2 1/2) points to a picture. "What's that?" he asks.

"you know" said my husband. "Turkey!" says my son. My husband asks, " why did you ask if you already knew?"

"I just had to", he responds.

[captain.crazy]

Other people don't even need to make fun of you.

Tell me what I am missing. It doesn't make sense.

All the negatives. Don't and can't and whatnot. Christ...

Sorry for ruining it guys.

Ahhh... I see. so the women that you know have penis's... Sorry to hear that, but you have been lied to.

[jonesthecurl]

Quite a few have had mine.

[Sackett58]

Quite a few have had mine.

Was that before or after you said "I do"?

[jonesthecurl]

Mainly inbetween the first time I said it and the second time to be honest. The bit after I left Mrs Curl the first was a wild few years.

[muy_thaiguy]

A bit of a personal story, about me.

When I was little, I had a grandma and a great grandma. My grandma had black hair while my great grandma had white hair, which is how I told them apart from each other by calling them black grandma and white grandma. One day while I was in the store, getting ready to check out with my black haired grandma, I had talked to her and called her black grandma as I usually do, at that moment an elderly black woman had gotten in line just behind us. Needless to say, my grandma was a bit embarrassed, but the other lady just thought it was cute, as I was only 3 or 4 years old.

Another thing, when I was still about 3-4 years old, I had trouble saying "p's" and said "s" instead. So whenever my grandad would take me to the store he would always ask me what apples and apple sauce, and even apple pies were. My response? "Assholes!" "Asshole Sauce!" "Asshole Pie!"

[PLAYER57832]

A bit of a personal story, about me.

When I was little, I had a grandma and a great grandma. My grandma had black hair while my great grandma had white hair, which is how I told them apart from each other by calling them black grandma and white grandma. One day while I was in the store, getting ready to check out with my black haired grandma, I had talked to her and called her black grandma as I usually do, at that moment an elderly black woman had gotten in line just behind us. Needless to say, my grandma was a bit embarrassed, but the other lady just thought it was cute, as I was only 3 or 4 years old.

Another thing, when I was still about 3-4 years old, I had trouble saying "p's" and said "s" instead. So whenever my grandad would take me to the store he would always ask me what apples and apple sauce, and even apple pies were. My response? "Assholes!" "Asshole Sauce!" "Asshole Pie!"

cute!