Lady Situation(pls dont tramble)

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:17 am

Rev, unless you're actually IN an episode of Dawson's Creek then all you have to do is say "So.. would you go out with me?"

You're kissing and doing the hanging out thing, just ask her to make it official.

If it was me, I'd ask just after a kiss, while still close with a cute grin. She'll laugh and say yes.

Kayla, hand on the leg? Thigh touching? Honestly..

Don't play games, just ask. And ye shall receive.

Of course, she might say no, because girls are weird. Sorry. I'd give you a 98% chance though, if thats any help :-)

Luck!

reverend_kyle · Post by **reverend_kyle** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:17 am

Minkish wrote:Well then wha the hell are you waiting for. If you've already done that, just tell her "Listen, I've thought about it a lot, and I think you should be my girlfriend"

dunno seems a little blunt, I"m the subtle type.

Minkish · Post by **Minkish** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:19 am

Dude, you just have to act like you're completely in control of the situation.

Show that you're extremely confident about asking her out, and you'll be fine. Tiptoeing around the question tends to make you look like you're being weak. Don't do that. If theres one thing that is a surefire turn off for just about every girl, it's lack of confidence. Unless she's already told you that she wants to only remain friends with benefits, she's probably wants to go out with you. So man up and ask

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:24 am

Minkish wrote:Dude, you just have to act like you're completely in control of the situation.
If theres one thing that is a surefire turn off for just about every girl, it's lack of confidence.

Bang on. You want to make her feel special though, so act like you're normally take charge and manly, but THIS time, because she's so much more important than all the others, you're a bit nervous.

Putty in hands.

Minkish · Post by **Minkish** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:24 am

reverend_kyle wrote:dunno seems a little blunt, I"m the subtle type.

I'm a subtle guy too. But the time for being subtle is when you are first just getting attracted to each other. When its obvious she likes you, and its obvious you like her, then its time to stop beating around the bush. Ask her, or you risk the chance of her thinking you only want to be friends with benefits, which could permenantly land you in that spot, in which case, its only a matter of time until she finds another boy who wants a relationship, and you get ousted.

Like I said, just be confident in yourself, it's going to be about 3 seconds of nervousness, and then after that you'll be dating.

Backglass · Post by **Backglass** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:24 am

Generally "Friends with Benefits" means you are having no-strings-attached-sex. You should stop using the term as you do not want one of YOUR friends telling one of HER friends that you are "friends with benefits"...when you are not.

THAT would be bad.

jay_a2j · Post by **jay_a2j** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:30 am

Just ask her to go to church with you.

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:34 am

jay_a2j wrote:Just ask her to go to church with you.

Lol saw you had just posted, thought you'd have said "Propose" :-)

Machiavelli · Post by **Machiavelli** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:25 am

If you're already hooking up with her, and you guys hang out one-on-one, what more do you want? Do you want other people to recognize the two of you as a couple or do you just want to hang out with her more? If the only point of "going out" is to hang out with her more, then you might as well not ask her out, just start hanging out with her more.

If you are going to ask her out while you guys are getting down, do it right after you kiss, not right after you bust :wink:

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:33 am

Well, I don't know what tramble means, but I have lots of good advice for you:

First of all, DO NOT HELP HER WITH MATH, at least not at this early point in your relationship. It'll create stress and tension and possible bad feelings that will muddle the nascent good feelings.

Then, I don't think it's necessary to SAY anything yet. If you're making out (or just kissing? doesn't matter), she obviously likes you well enough. What you need to do now is encourage her to hang out more and more with you. When you're hanging out, be not just playful but also kind and attentive. Once you've gotten to the point where you hang out with each other more than with anyone else, you're being physically intimate in some way (holding hands, cuddling, kissing, making out, whatever--however far you're both comfortable going at that point), you ARE, essentially, boyfriend and girlfriend. It's simple. You just start calling her your girlfriend. You may even already be at this point. If she approves, she'll reciprocate. You'll soon start saying "I love you." Then you'll have babies and live happily ever after, or break up when you go to college, or whatever.

Amen.

areyouincahoots · Post by **areyouincahoots** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:40 am

Spuzzell wrote:Rev, unless you're actually IN an episode of Dawson's Creek then all you have to do is say "So.. would you go out with me?"

10 points to this guy, for real! My hero for the moment.

Spuzzell wrote:Rev, unless you're actually IN an episode of Dawson's Creek then all you have to do is say "So.. would you go out with me?"

You're kissing and doing the hanging out thing, just ask her to make it official.

If it was me, I'd ask just after a kiss, while still close with a cute grin. She'll laugh and say yes.

Kayla, hand on the leg? Thigh touching? Honestly..

Don't play games, just ask. And ye shall receive.

Of course, she might say no, because girls are weird. Sorry. I'd give you a 98% chance though, if thats any help

Luck!

Good advice all around.

And if whe says no, don't be discouraged. I still love you.

podge · Post by **podge** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:48 am

Bring math into it
Ask her if she wants to know how 1 and 1 make 3

jay_a2j · Post by **jay_a2j** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:04 pm

Spuzzell wrote:
jay_a2j wrote:Just ask her to go to church with you.

Lol saw you had just posted, thought you'd have said "Propose"

Thats reserved for if and when he gets to third base. :wink:

Backglass · Post by **Backglass** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:07 pm

jay_a2j wrote:Just ask her to go to church with you.

Of course, you realize that would be Reverend Kyle's church...not yours. :lol:

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:04 pm

btownmeggy wrote:Well, I don't know what tramble means, but I have lots of good advice for you:

First of all, DO NOT HELP HER WITH MATH, at least not at this early point in your relationship. It'll create stress and tension and possible bad feelings that will muddle the nascent good feelings.

Then, I don't think it's necessary to SAY anything yet. If you're making out (or just kissing? doesn't matter), she obviously likes you well enough. What you need to do now is encourage her to hang out more and more with you. When you're hanging out, be not just playful but also kind and attentive. Once you've gotten to the point where you hang out with each other more than with anyone else, you're being physically intimate in some way (holding hands, cuddling, kissing, making out, whatever--however far you're both comfortable going at that point), you ARE, essentially, boyfriend and girlfriend. It's simple. You just start calling her your girlfriend. You may even already be at this point. If she approves, she'll reciprocate. You'll soon start saying "I love you." Then you'll have babies and live happily ever after, or break up when you go to college, or whatever.

Amen.

I'd have to disagree.. actually asking the question is important, it means you haven't just stumbled into something and both of you know where you stand.

Plus, otherwise you'll be arguing about which date you started going out until you break up :-)

Machiavelli · Post by **Machiavelli** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:07 pm

Just ask out of the blue. Here's proof it works

johnnyrotten wrote:
Machiavelli wrote:Will you go out with me?

Only if a) I can have a n@ughty photo before, and b) if there will definitely be s#x on the first date.

Vincent M · Post by **Vincent M** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:15 pm

Your there and you are trying to get there?

Look the best way to do this is to talk about relationships.Talk about Past Relationship once you get there then you guys will look a each other and go hey maybe we are kinda going out.

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:21 pm

areyouincahoots wrote: 10 points to this guy, for real!

Oh, hey.. everyone else can see your avatar blink, right? It's not just me overdoing the caffeine again?

Spuzzell · Post by **Spuzzell** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:29 pm

Vincent M wrote:
Look the best way to do this is to talk about relationships.Talk about Past Relationship

For the love of all that is holy DO NOT do this. Ever. You'll both get horribly jealous and it's totally unnecessary.

If she ever brings up the subject of her previous partners, move off it as soon as possible. She's either looking for re-assurance for herself or actively trying to make you jealous so you try harder.. either way, find a way to tell her she's the only girl you're interested in instantly and don't, whatever you do, start talking about your history.

Previous partners are a potential world of hurt! Don't go there guys.

b-b5 · Post by **b-b5** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:27 pm

For gods sake man. Get a grip of yourself, figuratively for a change.

Heres some maths to clarify:

friendship + benefits > relationship.

Following any of the advice above will inevitably lead to romantic walks, picnics and in extreme cases neck rubs.

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:34 pm

b-b5 wrote:Following any of the advice above will inevitably lead to romantic walks, picnics and in extreme cases neck rubs.

I think that's what he's looking for.

2dimes · Post by **2dimes** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:12 pm

reverend_kyle wrote:Hold my unlimited supply of chilled pasturised milk whilst I purchase this fine cow, who by nature will tramble down, spilling the goods and drying up.

I'm trying to belive in Marriage, it's much easier looking at it from the outside in.

strike wolf · Post by **strike wolf** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:33 pm

reverend_kyle wrote:Ok so theres this girl right. We've been sort of together/friends w/benefits grey area thingy for about a month now and I like her quite a bit. I sort of want to take it to the next level, but I don't want to bring it up. I sort of want her to bring it up, so that I don't have to risk ruining what we already have which is still great in my opinion.

I'm also a math whiz, and I really like teaching people stuff... this comes in later in the story. So anyways we are talking and she is really bad at math. I see this as an opportunity to show that I can be a sort of boyfriend overlooker theory and say I'm a whiz at math let me help you when we hang out this weekend.

Umm so here's my dilemma, how do I mix cutesy ways of getting some in with my helping her with math. I figure if it was addition I could be like so if I gave you one kiss then I gave you 2 more how many kisses will I have given you, but unfortunately that isn't high school curriculum.

Any ideas?

Here's the thing Rev. You worry too much. Most girls I know like it when the person they are dating is confident, they do not like someone who worries about every detail. I've always gone with the flow and it usually works out. This may not work for you but hell give it a shot and see how it goes. Let it come naturally and when the moment comes you should know.

reverend_kyle · Post by **reverend_kyle** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:04 am

strike wolf wrote:
reverend_kyle wrote:Ok so theres this girl right. We've been sort of together/friends w/benefits grey area thingy for about a month now and I like her quite a bit. I sort of want to take it to the next level, but I don't want to bring it up. I sort of want her to bring it up, so that I don't have to risk ruining what we already have which is still great in my opinion.

I'm also a math whiz, and I really like teaching people stuff... this comes in later in the story. So anyways we are talking and she is really bad at math. I see this as an opportunity to show that I can be a sort of boyfriend overlooker theory and say I'm a whiz at math let me help you when we hang out this weekend.

Umm so here's my dilemma, how do I mix cutesy ways of getting some in with my helping her with math. I figure if it was addition I could be like so if I gave you one kiss then I gave you 2 more how many kisses will I have given you, but unfortunately that isn't high school curriculum.

Any ideas?

Here's the thing Rev. You worry too much. Most girls I know like it when the person they are dating is confident, they do not like someone who worries about every detail. I've always gone with the flow and it usually works out. This may not work for you but hell give it a shot and see how it goes. Let it come naturally and when the moment comes you should know.

I'm hella confident..

Around her.

Good advice all around, though I found myself relating more to the comments like this.

friends w/benefits>relationship.

And she goes to church a hell of alot more than I do jay.

Bertros Bertros · Post by **Bertros Bertros** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:58 am

Where did this friend with benefits thing come from anyway, wasn't it something to do with Alanis Morrisette? Where I grew up a friend with benefits was somewhere who just got their dole cheque so you could all afford to get wasted....

Good luck with the lady rev, I'd offer you some advice but it would be worthless coming from me... i spent weeks (maybe even months) getting anywhere close to a relationship with my current girlfriend, mainly because I couldn't actually believe it was happening to me I think... Anyway in the end it was one of her friends who first called me her boyfriend so I escaped the whole asking thing anyway....

For the record we have been together over 9 years now so the softly softly approach worked in my case, though the weeks of limbo were hell... we only just got engaged last month after all this time together so it seems I didn't learn anything from it!

Lady Situation(pls dont tramble)

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