Two Germans walk into a bar

[saxitoxin]

William's descendent, Queen Anne, dies, and leaves the throne to George I (of the House of Brunswick-Luneburg).
300 years later, saxitoxin interprets this as the 'occupation' of Britain.

When 20,000 foreign troops arrive, violently suppress riots in London (IIRC - a city in England), rape large numbers of women (and men) from the local (English) population, attack in pitched battles (primarily non-English - but still British) resistance forces in other parts of the country, install a King who doesn't speak English, then his foreign troops remain in the country indefinitely as a paramilitary police force, I call that an invasion. Barackattack calls it a celebration of heritage.

Here's HRH Prince Christoph, head of the House of Schleswig-Holstein - the royal house that will take over Britain once the homosexual rapist Charles becomes King. Christoph lives in that most English of villages - Munich - and counts among his house's other kings such very English gentlemen as King Albert of Belgium and Queen Margaret of Denmark.



Here's one of the Schleswig-Holsteiners in the line of succession to the "British" [wink wink] throne reciting a Shakespearean sonnet in the Queen's English ---



You have nothing in common with her. You have no shared heritage. All glory is theirs. None is yours. The liberation of your nation cannot begin until you accept these facts, empower yourself to act on them and dethrone the foreign occupiers.

[john9blue]

firstly, all universities ARE colleges, and are also (presumably) the best colleges in the world.

secondly, in america the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable

so my use of the word "college" is 100% correct.

i do not make errors with the english language.

The words college and university are not interchangeable in the United States.

i have never heard of any distinction between them. wikipedia seems to back me up on this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College

In the United States and Ireland, "college" and "university" are loosely interchangeable

but it's a moot point.

also, thread of the year 2012

[thegreekdog]

firstly, all universities ARE colleges, and are also (presumably) the best colleges in the world.

secondly, in america the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable

so my use of the word "college" is 100% correct.

i do not make errors with the english language.

The words college and university are not interchangeable in the United States.

i have never heard of any distinction between them. wikipedia seems to back me up on this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College

In the United States and Ireland, "college" and "university" are loosely interchangeable

but it's a moot point.

also, thread of the year 2012

A university has multiple schools. A college has one.

For example:

University of Pennsylvania has a liberal arts college, a business school, a medical school, a law school, and a veterinary school (among others).
Swarthmore College is a liberal arts college. No business school, medical school, law school.

[Symmetry]

firstly, all universities ARE colleges, and are also (presumably) the best colleges in the world.

secondly, in america the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable

so my use of the word "college" is 100% correct.

i do not make errors with the english language.

The words college and university are not interchangeable in the United States.

i have never heard of any distinction between them. wikipedia seems to back me up on this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College

In the United States and Ireland, "college" and "university" are loosely interchangeable

but it's a moot point.

also, thread of the year 2012

A university has multiple schools. A college has one.

For example:

University of Pennsylvania has a liberal arts college, a business school, a medical school, a law school, and a veterinary school (among others).
Swarthmore College is a liberal arts college. No business school, medical school, law school.

But just casually looking at the courses offered (no expert here) Swarthmore offers a degree in mathematics, which is rarely seen as a liberal art. Also Physics, not sure if that comes under their auspice of a liberal arts school, but it seems unlikely.

Computer science seems to be one of their courses, but like their psychology course, I'm not going to go into the art vs science debate on those.

Biology would be another course that would seem to be an odd placement under a liberal art school too.

You can look at their website:

http://www.swarthmore.edu/

But basically, I'd say the defintions are loose.

[barackattack]

When 20,000 foreign troops arrive, violently suppress riots in London (IIRC - a city in England), rape large numbers of women (and men) from the local (English) population, attack in pitched battles (primarily non-English - but still British) resistance forces in other parts of the country, install a King who doesn't speak English, then his foreign troops remain in the country indefinitely as a paramilitary police force, I call that an invasion.

You seem to have casually ignored my point that this new king and his troops were invited into the country by English Parliamentary forces. You have ignored the fact that the rioters were Jacobites attempting to steal the throne, not nationalists resisting the new king. You have also ignored my point that, by this stage, the monarch was a figurehead and not an actual ruler. It's the same significance as Colonel Sanders being replaced with Ronald McDonald.

I know that your country has a history of military defeat to my country but hey, at least you're not French, right?

[thegreekdog]

firstly, all universities ARE colleges, and are also (presumably) the best colleges in the world.

secondly, in america the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable

so my use of the word "college" is 100% correct.

i do not make errors with the english language.

The words college and university are not interchangeable in the United States.

i have never heard of any distinction between them. wikipedia seems to back me up on this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College

In the United States and Ireland, "college" and "university" are loosely interchangeable

but it's a moot point.

also, thread of the year 2012

A university has multiple schools. A college has one.

For example:

University of Pennsylvania has a liberal arts college, a business school, a medical school, a law school, and a veterinary school (among others).
Swarthmore College is a liberal arts college. No business school, medical school, law school.

But just casually looking at the courses offered (no expert here) Swarthmore offers a degree in mathematics, which is rarely seen as a liberal art. Also Physics, not sure if that comes under their auspice of a liberal arts school, but it seems unlikely.

Computer science seems to be one of their courses, but like their psychology course, I'm not going to go into the art vs science debate on those.

Biology would be another course that would seem to be an odd placement under a liberal art school too.

You can look at their website:

http://www.swarthmore.edu/

But basically, I'd say the defintions are loose.

Swarthmore definitely offers different degrees, but that doesn't make it a university (as apparently only I have defined it).

If Swarthmore suddenly created a law school, I suspect it would change its name to Swarthmore University. I know other schools have done this in the recent past (added a school and changed its name to "University") but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

As another example, University of Pennsylvania has the following schools or colleges:

- The College of Arts and Sciences
- The School of Arts and Sciences (which includes various graduate programs)
- School of Nursing
- School of Engineering and Applied Science
- American School for Communication
- Law School
- Perelman School of Medicine
- School of Dental Medicine
- The Wharton School

[PLAYER57832]

Swarthmore definitely offers different degrees, but that doesn't make it a university (as apparently only I have defined it).

If Swarthmore suddenly created a law school, I suspect it would change its name to Swarthmore University. I know other schools have done this in the recent past (added a school and changed its name to "University") but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

As another example, University of Pennsylvania has the following schools or colleges:

- The College of Arts and Sciences
- The School of Arts and Sciences (which includes various graduate programs)
- School of Nursing
- School of Engineering and Applied Science
- American School for Communication
- Law School
- Perelman School of Medicine
- School of Dental Medicine
- The Wharton School

Another definition sometimes used is that universities give PhDs and colleges don't.

The basic problem is that Europeans tend to think of "university" as conferring a higher level of degree than colleges, but in the US that is not true (Swarthmore is hardly a low-end academic school!). But, even your definitions is not 100% accurate. For example, you could readily argue that California's Community colleges are all one system, but they are 2 year colleges, not universities. Also, a lot of more modern entities tend to blurr the lines, with online offerings, no set locations, and such.

Overall, the terms no longer have much meaning here in the US.

[Timminz]

In Canada, universities are the more academic option. Colleges tend to be more like trade schools (grant diplomas rather than degrees), or a specific segment of a larger university. For example, someone graduating from King's College, will actually attain a degree from Dalhousie University (of which King's is a part).

[barackattack]

If you'd like some insight into what 'Europeans think'... a university is a degree-awarding institution. In England, a college is either a secondary school (that educates up to age 18) or a place that specifically deals in 16-18 education. Or a technical college, where people (haw haw) learn plumbing, building etc.

Cambridge, Oxford and Durham are collegiate universities (e.g. Cambridge's colleges are Trinity, King's, Jesus, Magdalen etc.). In these three universities, the different colleges are essentially just different halls of residence - they are where students live, eat, socialise and the different colleges will compete with each other in sports.

University of London is divided up into colleges, such as King's and Imperial. These are all regarded as seperate universities, as they are self-governing institutions, but as they are all joined up under the banner of 'University of London' they are all technically colleges and so call themselves 'King's College', 'Imperial College' and so on.

An independent university is never referred to as a college, because (here, at least) it isn't. A college is a university hall of residence (in one of the Old Universities), a school or somewhere for people to gain sub-par, post-16 qualifications.

[PLAYER57832]

If you'd like some insight into what 'Europeans think'... a university is a degree-awarding institution. In England, a college is either a secondary school (that educates up to age 18) or a place that specifically deals in 16-18 education. Or a technical college, where people (haw haw) learn plumbing, building etc.

Cambridge, Oxford and Durham are collegiate universities (e.g. Cambridge's colleges are Trinity, King's, Jesus, Magdalen etc.). In these three universities, the different colleges are essentially just different halls of residence - they are where students live, eat, socialise and the different colleges will compete with each other in sports.

University of London is divided up into colleges, such as King's and Imperial. These are all regarded as seperate universities, as they are self-governing institutions, but as they are all joined up under the banner of 'University of London' they are all technically colleges and so call themselves 'King's College', 'Imperial College' and so on.

An independent university is never referred to as a college, because (here, at least) it isn't. A college is a university hall of residence (in one of the Old Universities), a school or somewhere for people to gain sub-par, post-16 qualifications.

pretty much as I said....

[barackattack]

I'd imagine the terms 'college' and 'university' mean the same thing in the US, seeing as they're the same words.

[aad0906]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sD_8prYOxo

[Aradhus]

I'd imagine the terms 'college' and 'university' mean the same thing in the US, seeing as they're the same words.

You would imagine.. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how other nationalities butcher the great english language. We go through all the trouble of creating a language from scratch, introducing complex original rules, promulgating our great language around the world, and then these people don't even use it properly.

Disgusting.

So two Germans walk into a bar. No wait, it's not a bar, it's a pub. Two Germans walk into a pub, actually a tavern. Two Germans walk into a tavern. Actually it's an inn. Two Germans walk into an inn. ok, drinking establishment. Two Germans walk.. actually they're not Germans, they're austrians. and they're not walking. they're shuffling. Two Austrians shuffle into a drinking establishment. Actually they're Austrian Jews. And it's a watering hole.Two Austrians Jews shuffle into a watering hole. No, shower room. Two wannabe German Austrian Jews shuffle into a shower room, and the proprietor asks, 'what's your poison?'

[saxitoxin]

When 20,000 foreign troops arrive, violently suppress riots in London (IIRC - a city in England), rape large numbers of women (and men) from the local (English) population, attack in pitched battles (primarily non-English - but still British) resistance forces in other parts of the country, install a King who doesn't speak English, then his foreign troops remain in the country indefinitely as a paramilitary police force, I call that an invasion.

You seem to have casually ignored my point that this new king and his troops were invited into the country by English Parliamentary forces. You have ignored the fact that the rioters were Jacobites attempting to steal the throne, not nationalists resisting the new king. You have also ignored my point that, by this stage, the monarch was a figurehead and not an actual ruler. It's the same significance as Colonel Sanders being replaced with Ronald McDonald.

I know that your country has a history of military defeat to my country but hey, at least you're not French, right?

huh?

[Pedronicus]

Page 8 of the thread and still no news of what happened to the two Germans in the bar.... WTF?

[PLAYER57832]

Page 8 of the thread and still no news of what happened to the two Germans in the bar.... WTF?

They ordered beers, drank them and left.

[Pedronicus]

Page 8 of the thread and still no news of what happened to the two Germans in the bar.... WTF?

They ordered beers, drank them and left.

That sounds like a proper German joke....

[Timminz]

Page 8 of the thread and still no news of what happened to the two Germans in the bar.... WTF?

They ordered beers, drank them and left.

That sounds like a proper German joke....

I lol'd.

[barackattack]

Two Germans walk into a bar. They're alcoholics and it's destroying their families.

There we go.

[mviola]

Also, school is used for a department that only can give one type of degree, like a school of dentistry. College has multiple majors an can give many different degrees. For example, at a college of engineering you can get one of several types, like chemical, mechanical, electrial, etc...