101 things you shouldn't say in court

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Pedronicus
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101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Pedronicus »

1. I didn't know murder was illegal
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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

2. Your honour, you got any weed?
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Timminz
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Timminz »

3. Well yeah I did it, but good luck proving it.
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Serbia
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Serbia »

4. Can we hurry this up? I got tickets to see Slayer tonight.
CONFUSED? YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE RIPE
saxitoxin wrote:Serbia is a RUDE DUDE
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paradise28
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by paradise28 »

4. -Your Honor, I object!
-On what grounds?
-On the grounds of Brooklyn.
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xman5151
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by xman5151 »

6. Can we hurry up, my kids are waiting in the car
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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

7. Can we hurry up, some kids are waiting in the trunk of my car
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IcePack
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by IcePack »

8. Can we hurry up, I have to find my kids.
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Army of GOD
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Army of GOD »

9. f*ck da police, comin' straight from the underground
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whitestazn88
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by whitestazn88 »

10. Sorry I was late, I couldn't find my wife.
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Pedronicus
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Pedronicus »

11. I'm black and...
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crazymilkshake5
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by crazymilkshake5 »

12. Yes, Jim is in the well. and no, I dont know how he got there.
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hotfire
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by hotfire »

13. What do you mean I can't wear my hat?
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IcePack
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by IcePack »

14. Your honor they have no proof! They didn't look in the trunk.
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Agent 86
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Agent 86 »

15. Yes
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Fruitcake
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Fruitcake »

Oh, do you like this Franck Muller Aeternitas Mega 4? I rather like it myself, bought it off this guy in the pub.
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KoolBak
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by KoolBak »

Depose THIS!! *grabs*
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca

AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by AndyDufresne »

16. Please sir, may I have some more?


--Andy
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Pedronicus
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Pedronicus »

17. you call that a sentence? I could do that standing in a bucket of shit in a Siberian winter!
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Crazyirishman
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Crazyirishman »

20. With all due respect your honor, blow me.
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Symmetry
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Symmetry »

18) "I plead the fifth" (anywhere other than the US)
19) "Your Honor, every one of these letters is addressed to Santa Claus. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore the Post Office Department, a branch of the Federal Government, recognizes this man Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus." (anywhere other than 34th Street)
the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it- Albert Einstein
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2dimes
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Post by 2dimes »

23. I'm totally going to rape juror 7 next.
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Serbia
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Serbia »

21) GUILTY?! Da fuck kinda ruling is that?! Stupid ass Judge, you just a punk ass bitch!
CONFUSED? YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE RIPE
saxitoxin wrote:Serbia is a RUDE DUDE
may not be a PRUDE, but he's gotta 'TUDE
might not be LEWD, but he's gonna get BOOED
RUDE
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Symmetry
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by Symmetry »

22) All rise! (non-court-officials only)
the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it- Albert Einstein
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BigBallinStalin
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Re: 101 things you shouldn't say in court

Post by BigBallinStalin »

23. I refuse to swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth while placing my hand on a book of fairy tales. It would be a mockery of justice.
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