Survivalist scenario, your preferred OffTopic denizen(s)

[AndyDufresne]

So, randomly I was searching google for some information about dog breeds, and then I stumbled across an old forum board where people were talking about the best dogs to have in survivalist scenario: http://www.homesteadingtoday.com/specia ... vival.html

Naturally, I made the leap from dog to OffTopic denizen, and thought it deserved its own poll. I'll let you decide if particular denizens are suited better or worse for specific types of scenarios (you come up with the scenarios if you wish).

Answer as ye may. And feel free to change your vote as people make excellent cases for and against your preferred denizens.




--Andy

[notyou2]

Juan_Bottom for all his zombie fighting knowledge and gear.

[KoolBak]

Most of those listed will end up in the "Have Not" category.....I will be a "Have".....

The clear pick is Nietxzkye.....he's adept at water management as well as all sorts of other handy traits....plus he's a decent human being which is a damn big plus

I'd also shack up with Dimey any day

ps - you should all be picking U-Quacko....he's done gots God on his side.....

[Jmac1026]

Not a huge fan of the topic, but I do have to commend you on alphabetizing the the poll. That takes real commitment.

[Army of GOD]

Each contestant should have a description of skills. Like mine are that I'm extremely sexy and can beat anyone on CC in basketball

[2dimes]

I picked based on geographical location and likability.

My "other" selection was based on who would be most likely to have berries, ammo and lower back support belts.

Not sure how I'm going to get around. Suppose I would have to get off my ass and make some practical Besler brothers type machines. Since fuel for big block Chevys would likely run out/go stale pretty quick.

[Dukasaur]

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

Of the tasks on the proverbial Heinlein list, I have never conned a ship, and I have not yet died gallantly. All of the others I have performed. Well, my sonnet sucked pretty god-awfully, but other that that I think I did most of them fairly well.

Dispatching snow plows is, in my estimation, not far off in the skills required from conning a ship, so I think I would do pretty well at that one.

I'm probably one of very few people here who has participated in every step of bringing bacon to the table: tending little piglets, cutting the balls off the males, raising them to adulthood, managing adult pigs, bringing them to the place of execution, facing up to reality and agreeing to perform the dirty deed despite my affinity for the pigs, shouldering that heavy bitch of a Lee-Enfield (I think I was 14 the first time. Man that fucking Lee-Enfield was heavy!) sighting accurately through the tears, cleaning and dismembering the pigs, butchering, slicing meat, making sausages, tying bacon, building the smokehouse, scouring the bush for wood for the smokehouse, camping beside the smokehouse for five days and waking up every two hours to check the temperature, and making delicious meals from the finished product.

[/resume]

[warmonger1981]

Im pretty much like MacGyver with a dash of crazy. DANGEROUS!

[KoolBak]

Sister raised pigs....done that nasty job too....now she has cows....same smell...lol. Many many many of us horrible gun toting unmeruhkins are hunters...much experience processing / finishing / preserving game...a helpful skill.

An enfield to knock off the pigs? Talk about overkill

[mrswdk]

Those who didn't vote for me will have plenty of time to regret that as they alternate between being 'top' and 'bottom'.

[Dukasaur]

Sister raised pigs....done that nasty job too....now she has cows....same smell...lol. Many many many of us horrible gun toting unmeruhkins are hunters...much experience processing / finishing / preserving game...a helpful skill.

An enfield to knock off the pigs? Talk about overkill

Hey, those things had a great record for dealing with humans, and humans are similar to pigs in many ways!

One time we had a friend come over at slaughter time. He had a new 9mm handgun of some kind, was all proud of the thing and thought he was all cool shit. Wanted to use the 9mm to kill the pig. My father thought it was a bad idea, but this guy kept insisting and cajoling and talking about how powerful his gun was. In the end my father gave in despite his better judgement.

The first shot was point blank, perfectly aimed, right behind the ear. No way he could miss, but somehow it didn't penetrate. The pig grunted but kept eating his honey oats. (Our pigs always had a final meal of honey oats to keep them calm.) The second shot, same place, pig started screaming and running around but still didn't drop. Charged around, screaming like hell and biting people, while the guy fired a couple more shots from various angles. After what was probably only thirty seconds but seemed like an hour, the pig finally dropped, mortally wounded but still not dead. The guy walked up and emptied the rest of his clip into him.

It was truly a horrible sight and one that I hope I never see again. After that we never used anything except the long gun.

[KoolBak]

Totally understand...thick skulled critters ;o(

[notyou2]

If Duk can bring his Lee Enfield I'm adding him.

[notyou2]

What about Kenneth Pirtle? He seems to have everything he needs for any eventuality, including raving Islamists in Wal-Mart.


http://www.liberalamerica.org/2014/06/16/man-accidentally-fires-gun-in-checkout-lane-of-walmart-video/

[Serbia]

I'm fucking sexy as fuck.

Bollocks.

[tkr4lf]

Each contestant should have a description of skills. Like mine are that I'm extremely sexy and can beat anyone on CC in basketball

I'm calling bullshit on that. I would destroy you in basketball, shorty. You are pretty sexy, though.

[warmonger1981]

I would shoot you both before you guys would hit the court. Then I would dunk over your wounded bodies. That's what you get for not picking me.

[nietzsche]

You spelled my name wrong Andy!! No wonder why tgd is winning.

[notyou2]

Mets knows how to make gun powder I bet

[TA1LGUNN3R]

Mets knows how to make gun powder I bet

I can make thermite. And that's way cooler than gunpowder.

-TG

[nietzsche]

Mets knows how to make gun powder I bet

I can make thermite. And that's way cooler than gunpowder.

-TG

I can make little humans. And that's way cooler than thermite.

[TA1LGUNN3R]

No they aren't.

-TG

[patches70]

Mets knows how to make gun powder I bet

Everyone knows how to make gunpowder. 6 parts charcoal, 1 part saltpeter, 1 part sulfur. It's common knowledge, something everyone by the time they are 16 should already know. You can even play around with those proportions if you like, to get better or different results. Basically just take a bunch of charcoal, mix in a little bit of saltpeter and sulfur and it'll burn nicely. Enclose that mixture in a confined space and you'll get a nice bang which will propel anything that is in front or around it. Even materials not strong enough to withstand the forces of combusting gunpowder is useful enough just to make bombs. Ammunition for projectiles can be almost anything, lead works, so does iron, nails, ball bearings, rocks, even glass. Ammunition can be found laying around virtually everywhere.

[strike wolf]

I picked 3:

1. Phatscotty: If he's as fat as his name suggests he provides a good distraction meal for whatever might try to eat us. Plus he seems like he has probably studied up on hunting and other survival tactics.

2/3. AoG & Warmonger-If they are as well armed as their names suggest, I could use them to fend off those threats.

I probably should pick another hunter & gatherer person.

Edit: Actually Jonesy too. I could use some British humor to fend off boredom and depression.

[warmonger1981]

Looks like I will cross you off my list of " To Do's " Strike Wolf. Everyone else stay on alert.