I have the following response to your recent inquiries:
1. I'm certainly not going to trouble you with trivial details regarding lubricants and such. Quite frankly, I think this kind of thing is best left to some junior clerk.
2. All environmental matters are attended to in compliance with local ordinances.
3. Yes, I attend to the client's needs in person at least 99% of the time. Only in unusual circumstances do we fall back on the Remote Service option.
I have had some challenges on this contract, but I think I have solved them all to the client's satisfaction.
Main challenge has been that my chief driller, Mr. Happy, is getting close to retirement and refuses to drill more than one well per day, no matter how many times I slap him upside the head and demand additional performance. I try to beef him up by reminding him of the days when we used to drill twelve or fourteen holes a day. He just looks at me sadly and says that was more than 40 years ago, and he's getting too old for this.
Luckily my backup driller, Mr. Lingus, remains full of enthusiasm and is willing to pick up the slack when Mr. Happy is goofing off. If anything, Mr. Lingus has been honing his skills while Mr. Happy has been coasting on his laurels, and he is probably a better driller than ever before. We also sometimes get some help from the Digital Support Team.
To make a long story short, by balancing staff assignments and allowing new stars to rise while others are drooping, we have managed to preserve our record of 100% customer satisfaction. Our current client is nothing less than ecstatic with our performance. By email, text, or voice call, we get between 30 and 60 messages ever day gushing about our outstanding performance and inviting us to return for more. Two days ago the client submitted a formal request for us to shut down our current base of operations and relocate to her home territory in order to provide services even more frequently.
I trust these facts will be reflected in my performance review.
“Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
― Voltaire
Her face is enigmatic. One time I look and she's oddly hot. Next time I look, I wonder if she has testicles and I'd get in trouble for using the wrong pronouns.