My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
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Funkyterrance
- Posts: 2494
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Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Last edited by Funkyterrance on Thu Feb 08, 2024 11:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
Votanic wrote:Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.
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Funkyterrance
- Posts: 2494
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:52 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: New Hampshire, USA
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!Pack Rat wrote:Votanic wrote:Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.Funkyterrance wrote:Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!Pack Rat wrote:Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.Votanic wrote:Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...
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jonesthecurl
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- Location: disused action figure warehouse
- Contact:
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Mr Wobbly tries to hide his helmet.
instagram.com/garethjohnjoneswrites
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KoolBak
- Posts: 7414
- Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 1:03 pm
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- Location: The beautiful Pacific Northwest
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."
Neil Young....Like An Inca
AND:
Neil Young....Like An Inca
AND:
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
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DirtyDishSoap
- Posts: 9365
- Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:42 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Putting my wrinkle stick into a sleepy snail
Dukasaur wrote:Your obsession with mrswdk is really sad.saxitoxin wrote:taking medical advice from this creature; a morbidly obese man who is 100% convinced he willed himself into becoming a woman.
ConfederateSS wrote:Just because people are idiots... Doesn't make them wrong.
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Trying to hammer nails with a fish
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Funkyterrance
- Posts: 2494
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- Location: New Hampshire, USA
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Qualifier #1Lonous wrote:Trying to hammer nails with a fish
You other guys! I can make another for metaphors for sex seeing as you all don’t seem to have saxi’s problem and are randy as f*ck!
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Funkyterrance
- Posts: 2494
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:52 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: New Hampshire, USA
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Houston, we have a problem
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.Votanic wrote:So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.Funkyterrance wrote:Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!Pack Rat wrote:Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.Votanic wrote:Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...
Re: Submit Your Best Euphemism for Impotence
This might be your best post ever, Rat.Pack Rat wrote:At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.Votanic wrote:So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.Funkyterrance wrote:Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!Pack Rat wrote:Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.Votanic wrote:Gee, hmm... how about...Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:
1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine
Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...
Just posting a simple, practical list of of common-sense things to avoid is a refreshing improvement for you.
In the future continue to avoid any ill-advised attempts at wit, cleverness, advanced reasoning, political discourse, or other matters beyond your ken.
As long as you safely stay in your limited comprehension zone, you should be fine.
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mookiemcgee
- Posts: 5788
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- Gender: Male
- Location: Northern CA
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Karel wrote:My erection is like a cat in a bag being drowned.
WILLIAMS5232 wrote: as far as dukasaur goes, i had no idea you were so goofy. i mean, you hate your parents so much you'd wish they'd been shot? just move out bro.
Re: Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence
Well then... just wait until rigor mortis sets in and you're golden.mookiemcgee wrote:Karel wrote:My erection is like a cat in a bag being drowned.