Texas Road Trip

[KoolBak]

Like I said, Canadian.

Opinions / assholes

[TeeGee]

Dukasaur is missing.. Who shot him?

Did he make it to Texas and run into Owenshooter?

[Dukasaur]

Made it to Texas. Had some interesting stories to tell, but working on my wife's shitty laptop is frustrating, so I haven't written much.

[2dimes]

Duk, you should seriously consider smuggling some bourbon back across to scalp to Ontarians!

Jack Daniels, Fireball…

My wife claims OLCB pulled American booze from its shelves.

[mookiemcgee]

Duk, you should seriously consider smuggling some bourbon back across to scalp to Ontarians!

Jack Daniels, Fireball…

My wife claims OLCB pulled American booze from its shelves.

Yeah they did. Looks like Alberta did today too - https://aglc.ca/liquor-bulletins/US-tariff-response

[jusplay4fun]

Made it to Texas. Had some interesting stories to tell, but working on my wife's shitty laptop is frustrating, so I haven't written much.

Get your bride a better laptop, Duk. Offer it as gift and convince her it is cheaper in Texas, as long as you can avoid the tariff crossing the border...LoL.

I, for one, miss your entertaining stories. Apparently, SO (<<EDITED) does TeeGee.

[2dimes]

Duk, you should seriously consider smuggling some bourbon back across to scalp to Ontarians!

Jack Daniels, Fireball…

My wife claims OLCB pulled American booze from its shelves.

Yeah they did. Looks like Alberta did today too - https://aglc.ca/liquor-bulletins/US-tariff-response

The stores are going to have stuff until it sells out. I guess I will find out what boozy treats I like from the US as they disappear from shelves.

[Dukasaur]

Made it to Texas. Had some interesting stories to tell, but working on my wife's shitty laptop is frustrating, so I haven't written much.

Get your bride a better laptop, Duk. Offer it as gift and convince her it is cheaper in Texas, as long as you can avoid the tariff crossing the border...LoL.

Even the best laptops have these retarded touch pads in the centre, and when my fingers are on the keyboard, my wrists are resting on the touchpad, making the cursor jump all over the place. It's incredibly frustrating, and leads to huge amounts of backspacing and correcting. Sometimes I wipe out an entire paragraph, and have no idea how it happened.

I have absolutely no use for the touchpad (I use an external mouse with a laptop) but even with the mouse activated, there doesn't seem to be any way to disable this utterly useless "feature".

I, for one, miss your entertaining stories. Apparently, do does TeeGee.

Thank you, that's gratifying!

[jusplay4fun]

Made it to Texas. Had some interesting stories to tell, but working on my wife's shitty laptop is frustrating, so I haven't written much.

Get your bride a better laptop, Duk. Offer it as gift and convince her it is cheaper in Texas, as long as you can avoid the tariff crossing the border...LoL.

Even the best laptops have these retarded touch pads in the centre, and when my fingers are on the keyboard, my wrists are resting on the touchpad, making the cursor jump all over the place. It's incredibly frustrating, and leads to huge amounts of backspacing and correcting. Sometimes I wipe out an entire paragraph, and have no idea how it happened.

I have absolutely no use for the touchpad (I use an external mouse with a laptop) but even with the mouse activated, there doesn't seem to be any way to disable this utterly useless "feature".

I, for one, miss your entertaining stories. Apparently, do does TeeGee.

Thank you, that's gratifying!

I too use an external (wireless) mouse to control the Touch Pad; I really DISLIKE the Touch Pad. And even then, I make a mistake, BUT not as often or as large as with the Touch Pad. And I type on a full size external wireless keyboard; this way I make fewer errors, as this is where I learned to type and feel the most comfortant.

And keep those stories coming; shorter stories may mean fewer errors where everything seems to "randomly" disappear.

Once in a while, I can retreive that document by going back. (btw: If I am sure I will type a long response, I type in MS Word which gives me more control and does Autosave. Then I copy and paste to the Forum. Lately, I have not done so.)

I blame my many errors, especially when typing text messages on my phone on Fat Fingers. I was not "trained" to TYPE using only my thumbs, as many teens and 20-somethings now do. And I always seem to hit at least 10 wrong keys in a text message of 15 characters. FRUSTRATING

[KoolBak]

Funny. I bought a nice laptop for my bride. Immediately taped a thin piece of plastic over the stupid touchpad and got wireless mouse

[Dukasaur]

Okay, let's try some updates.

Warning: no really super-cool stories like from my younger days.

[Dukasaur]

Funny. I bought a nice laptop for my bride. Immediately taped a thin piece of plastic over the stupid touchpad and got wireless mouse

Might be worth a try, although I suspect she'll object.

[Dukasaur]

Sunday, March 02. Day Three

Got to destination around noon on Sunday. (Donna, TX, near Brownsville). Not going anywhere else today. I like to drive, but two-and-a-half days on the road is enough.

Only one good thing happened today, but it was glorious!

We're reviewing the news, and my father-in-law starts talking about Trump. This is where I usually start averting my face and doing eye-rolls to the side. So he starts talking, and I'm looking around the table to see what objects I can focus on, and he says, "I couldn't believe the way he spoke to Zelenskyy. There's no excuse for talking to someone that way. I used to think Mr. Trump was an honourable man, but I guess power has gone to his head, and now he's showing his true colours."

Wow! Outwardly, I'm just nodding and smiling, as I always do when my father-in-law speaks, but on the inside I'm doing cartwheels and somersaults! "Calloo! Callay! Oh frabjous day!"

My father-in-law was like the ultimate Trumpist. Major racist, thinks 95% of all crimes are committed by blacks, thinks queers can't go to heaven, believes the pandemic was deliberately created by the Chinese to bring down the West, believes in chemtrails, etc., etc. If a man like that can have his eyes opened and turn his back on Trump, there is hope for salvation for all the rest!

My heart is a thousand times lighter today! I sleep very peacefully.

[Dukasaur]

Monday, March 03 (a.k.a. Day Four)

So, today is the day we go to Mexico to eat the legendary nachos, in Nuevo Progreso. We park the car on the American side and walk across.

This is my first time over the Rio Grande since 1979. Shocking what has become of it. The Rio Grande is now more like the Rio Pico. I remembered it as a pretty impressive waterway, but this little muddy trickle is a sad echo of its former self. I had heard that water levels are low, caught between the droughts brought by climate change and increasing agricultural demands. Still, it's a little depressing to cast my own eyes on.

Inside Mexico, things are as depressing as I remember them. Poverty everywhere, children panhandling, adults selling trashy souvenirs. Everything from jewelry and t-shirts to jars of honey and switchblades. The one thing that has changed since '79 is the plethora of quasi-medical establishments. Doctors, pharmacies, dentists galore. Dentures for only $175, name brand drugs, massages and pedicures.

At Pancho's Bar, I order Dos Equis. It doesn't taste as good as I remember. I don't know if the product has changed, or just the fact that I'm 45 years older.

Finally, the legendary nachos.

Okay, here's my official verdict. There is genuine care taken on these nachos. Unlike restaurants up north, who just throw the ingredients on the chips willy-nilly, these are assembled. The nachos are evenly distributed around the plate. Each one is covered in refritos, then a little bit of salsa, then a large amount of ground beef and cheese. Finally, after baking, each one has a slice of fresh avocado on it. Are they better than what I can get at home? Definitely. Are they the world's best? Not sure, but they're definitely a head above the crowd. So I will rate them as very good, and the claim of being the world's best, as "plausible". Still, bottom line, they are nachos. The ideal Platonic Form of "nacho" is still "cheap filler". Only so much you can do with it.

[jusplay4fun]

Good stories and "food reviews" too, Duk. Thanks..!

Keep 'em coming.

And eat some tacos for me, too..! Also do you eat lots of Tex-Mex at meals while in Texas?

[Dukasaur]

Tuesday, March 04 Day Five.

Last night, when we got home from Mexico, we found out my father-in-law's wallet was missing. Tore apart the car and the trailer, no sign of it. Inevitable conclusion, lost in Mexico.

So Tuesday was spent retracing our steps, back to Pancho's Bar. Miraculously, the waiter had found the wallet and turned it it. What are the odds, that in a bar in a border town, a lost wallet would stay intact to be reclaimed almost 24 hours later!

Tuesday night, went for Chinese food. Even the Chinese food around here has a Mexican flair. Never saw stuffed jalapenos on a Chinese menu before.

We get home, and the wife is barfing up stuffed jalapenos. She was in bed for all of Wednesday.

Gave me a chance to go out for a cruise by myself. Nice to just drive the desert with nobody around.

[jusplay4fun]

The question now is: what was stuffed into the jalapenos??

And did you find a sense of peace in the desert? And you avoided the dessert?

[Dukasaur]

Yeah, not desert in the strict sense of the word. Just fairly arid farm country. Just looks like desert to a child of the temperate forests.

No idea what was in the Chinese-style stuffed jalapenos. Probably something Pekingese...

Anyway, Thursday (Day 7)

Went to Gladys Porter Zoo.
https://gladysporterzoo.org/trip/

Small but nicely-maintained zoo in Brownsville. Very clean and well-run.

The big reason why it's significant to me is that Blade and Suede are there. Blade and Suede are two Orinoco crocodiles. They were captured by my mother's boyfriend in the Orinoco in 1987. (Yes, my father was also a reptile smuggler. After she escaped from my asshole father, my mother apparently hadn't yet learned her lesson, and shacked up with another reptile smuggler. Some people just have a type, lol.)

Blade and Suede

Anyway, Blade and Suede were just eight inches long when they first came to Canada, but as the years went on, they grew fast, and were soon too big for their enclosures at the Seaway Serpentarium where they were displayed. After their owner died, they finally found a zoo qualified to keep them, Gladys Porter. Blade is now 800 lbs, and Suede is 400 lbs. They have successfully mated and have viable offspring.

Here's an article from a local newspaper about one of their clutches of eggs:
https://laferianews.net/2017/03/famous- ... orter-zoo/

[jusplay4fun]

Yeah, not desert in the strict sense of the word. Just fairly arid farm country. Just looks like desert to a child of the temperate forests.

No idea what was in the Chinese-style stuffed jalapenos. Probably something Pekingese...

Maybe some Peking EATS? or Beijing-eats..?? LoL

If either joke is good, perhaps put in Dad Jokes thread..??

and a good story about the crocs, real ones and not the semi-shoe-things...!

Anyway, Thursday (Day 7)

Went to Gladys Porter Zoo.
https://gladysporterzoo.org/trip/

Small but nicely-maintained zoo in Brownsville. Very clean and well-run.

The big reason why it's significant to me is that Blade and Suede are there. Blade and Suede are two Orinoco crocodiles. They were captured by my mother's boyfriend in the Orinoco in 1987. (Yes, my father was also a reptile smuggler. After she escaped from my asshole father, my mother apparently hadn't yet learned her lesson, and shacked up with another reptile smuggler. Some people just have a type, lol.)

Blade and Suede

Anyway, Blade and Suede were just eight inches long when they first came to Canada, but as the years went on, they grew fast, and were soon too big for their enclosures at the Seaway Serpentarium where they were displayed. After their owner died, they finally found a zoo qualified to keep them, Gladys Porter. Blade is now 800 lbs, and Suede is 400 lbs. They have successfully mated and have viable offspring.

Here's an article from a local newspaper about one of their clutches of eggs:
https://laferianews.net/2017/03/famous- ... orter-zoo/

[2dimes]

Your Blade and Slade story is one of the best on the forum for a while.

We’re at Sea-Tac after two weeks in one of the best countries in the world. It’s been spectacular again.

President Trump and civilian Trump has never bothered us. Poor old Joe, George Herb Walker, tricky Dick, a Thespian, a Clinton, Dubya, Obama.. who ever.

I will keep eating too much and the billionaires actually in charge are just going to keep on doing their thing.

Why sweat it?

[Dukasaur]

Day 8 Friday

Went to South Padre Island.

Completely false expectations. I thought it was a wildlife refuge. I thought we were going to see some seabirds and amphibians. Turns out it's a Miami-like shithole full of hotels and bars. Far from harboring wildlife, it harbors about ten thousand people, mostly fat and drunk. They weren't bringing me here for wildlife observation, they were bringing me here for another day of gluttony. Ate redfish at three different places. Couldn't finish the last plate.

Apparently Spring Break starts on Saturday. There are major musical acts all week, with large posters advertising them. I don't recognize a single name, but I know what they are due to the prevalence of deliberately-bad spelling so beloved by the kids nowadays. By this time tomorrow, the island is expected to be wall-to-wall with writhing bodies on E.

But not today. Today is Friday, Spring Break hasn't started yet, the bodies are few and mostly elderly, and the band at Clayton's Bar is playing a recognizable mix of rock and country. The Corona is cold and the fish is hot. Not a bad way to spend the day.

As a final note, there is a remnant of wildlife, at the Sea Turtle Rescue project: https://seaturtleinc.org/ We did visit and donate.

[KoolBak]

Yeah, that's a place to be avoided

[jusplay4fun]

I helped with a sea turtle rescue in North Carolina, a bit back. Donated, too.

[ConfederateSS]

----------Hope the ride back to Canada is just as fun...Duk....Lap tops...Write some stories on paper...Give a recap...When your safe and sound back home...Sometimes when I'm typing , there is a glitch(technology )...When I have long posts...Like 3 Heroes in January, Attack on History...I write them down 1st...I know glitches are just waiting to erase everything...Or gremlins ...Remember when driving through OHIO...No tax on alcohol,they have their own system(Where Michigan has sales tax)... ...
------------ When I would come back over from Windsor...The Casino(before covid)...2:30am...The U.S. Border Guard...Would ask me,"Anything to Declare???"...I would say,"Yes, I'm an Idiot ,splitting tens(BlackJack)"....The guard would smile and laugh,looking sleepy...They like that, make'em laugh...As they say, go ahead...Wave you through...... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)...

[Dukasaur]

Had one final update. Took me a while to get through the technical difficulties of converting file formats to something CC would accept.

Anyway, Day 9 was an uneventful loafing day.

On Day 10 (Sunday) we started heading back home, but had one final stop to make, in Houston.

Do any of you remember my old team-mate on CC, TX AG 90? Doesn't play any more, but was a pretty good player in his time.


Anyway, stopped in Houston to have lunch with TX. Took this pic in the parking lot outside.