Two Germans walk into a bar

[thegreekdog]

I was going to respond to this thread with something like "The Greeks created western civilization, democracy, etc., etc." but then I realized (unlike barackattack) that my homeland's glory has faded into history and it would be disingenuous of me to talk about the past glory of my people in response to a dude talking about the past glories of his people.

Nonsense, past glory is where it's all at. No civilisation lasts forever, culture's the only thing that survives. And Greek culture is present in practically every civilsation in the world (though Pythagoras' theorum, for example)

In that case... SCREW YOU UK! GO GREECE!

[saxitoxin]

CZECH LANDS
Cowed: 1620
Liberated: 1920

Survivors of the destruction of the Bohemian forces reached Prague, causing a general panic. Some commanders tried to set up a defense, but they received little support. King Frederick and his entourage, leaving the crown jewels behind, slipped out of the city quietly, disappearing into the stream of refugees who were fleeing the imminent takeover of Prague by the Empire. When the Imperial army arrived, it was able to enter the city without resistance. Forty-seven nobles - the surviving members of the Bohemian nobility - were executed at Prague's Old Town Square on what is called "the Day of Blood."

ENGLAND
Cowed: 1715
Liberated: -----

The shock, bordering on revulsion, that Londoners felt as they watched column after column of Palatine regiments unload from ships in port was numbing. The appearance of these foreign troops, there to install a King who reportedly had never heard the local language spoke (let alone knew it himself), was a horror for which the English hadn't been prepared. Contemporary sources report widespread rape of Londoners by the German forces. In the ensuing weeks, anti-German riots in London were brutally put-down by the Brunswickers and scaffolds were erected at principal places throughout London. By the time word of the short-lived uprising had reached the headquarters of Lord Mar's resistance army outside Carlisle, however, it had already been crushed.

[barackattack]

- Slavery was selectively abolished in portions in portions of the British Empire beginning in 1807

Is it worth my pointing out that I said 'UK', not 'British Empire'?

Two things I'd say about all your 'blah blah 1715' rambling, btw:

1) You keep saying Germany. 'Germany' wasn't a country until the late 19th century. But then you knew that, being German.
2) The main difference between my facts and yours is that no one has to Google mine to have heard of them. Yours are clearly dredged from the appendix of a tediously obscure encyclopaedia.

[saxitoxin]

- Slavery was selectively abolished in portions in portions of the British Empire beginning in 1807

Is it worth my pointing out that I said 'UK', not 'British Empire'?

nope

Britain stopped slavery on the island after manufacturing had outpaced the agricultural sector and it no longer made financial sense. This was several years after slavery had been outlawed in other industrialized polities like Pennsylvania, New York ... and 300 years after it had been outlawed in Poland, 600 years after it had been outlawed in Japan.

Britain continued to brutally enslave hundreds of thousands of people in places where it made financial sense until less than 60 months before the U.S. finally outlawed it in their southern states.

You keep saying Germany. 'Germany' wasn't a country until the late 19th century.

nope

I've correctly said "German" in reference to language/nationality. When referencing place names I've used "Brunswick", "Bavaria" and other polity designators exclusively and as appropriate throughout this thread.

Really, I know you're just one of the aborigines but you can still take a few moments to order your thoughts. Stop grunting and screaming when you see the miracle of fire. Take a few deep breaths perhaps, enjoy a tall glass of cold water. You know, whatever works to cool your native proclivity to passion and irrational anger.

[barackattack]

MFW Germany's greatest contribution to global culture is Schindler's List.

[Aradhus]

Yours are clearly dredged from the appendix of a tediously obscure encyclopaedia.

I've skimmed Saxi's encyclopaedia, it's called Trolling for Experts. I barely understood what I glimpsed at, way way too technical for me.

[saxitoxin]

MFW Germany's greatest contribution to global culture is Schindler's List.

You seem constrained by a tiny, suburban, single brain-cell EDL nationalist worldview. Your statement doesn't bother me as I'm a Socialist so stand in opposition to the crimes of western culture, including the gross and unchecked militarism of the German people, the world's most vicious culture.

• I have happily detailed elsewhere on these boards my work - with many others - to the destruction of German nationalist traditions. I spent much of 1982 gathering petition signatures which resulted in the Volkshammer of the DDR enacting Public Law 9912, outlawing the wearing of Tracht (a law repudiated by the western puppet government after the anschluss of 1991).

As a 1950 circular produced by the Main Agitprop Directorate of the Socialist Unity Party of the DDR declared (emphasis added by me):

Question: Who gives the German government the right to accept such decisions?

Answer: It comes from the responsibility the government of the German Democratic Republic has to world peace. Germany needs peace to overcome the Fascist war of conquest and to build new homes, new factories, new farms to produce the goods we need. We also need genuine friendship with other peoples, a friendship that will help us along a new path. We have such friendship with the Soviet Union, with Poland, and the other people’s democracies. The government of the German Democratic Republic has the right because it wants to secure peace and friendship and overcome centuries of German militarism.

Question: You accept the loss of the eastern territories. Why all the noise about the Ruhr?

Answer: Our eastern borders were drawn to maintain peace. The Oder-Neiße line is therefore a border of peace. The separation of the Saar and the theft of the Ruhr, on the other hand, would strengthen the military capacity of the American imperialists and their lackeys in the heart of Europe. One border is a border of peace, the other makes easier the preparation of a new war.

Question: What does the battle for the national existence of our people have to do with the Polish people?

Answer: A great deal. The Polish people along with all other peoples of East and Southeast Europe as well as radical, feminist and peace-loving people everywhere, as anyone can see, support our struggle for national self reliance and independence. The Polish government has repeatedly stated its support for the rapid conclusion of a peace treaty with Germany and the withdrawal of foreign troops. It recognized the German Democratic Republic immediately and exchanged ambassadors. The Polish people — despite all the troubles it has had from the crimes of German people — is ready for friendly relations.

[barackattack]

What's wrong with Tracht? Man, you must be dull at a fancy dress party.

There's no point getting upset about 'crimes of the West', brah. No powerful nation has ever conducted itself in a pacifist and egalitarian manner. It's human nature to bitch on the little people.

All I'm saying is that no one has gone to town on the world like the UK did. And this is true.

[saxitoxin]

All I'm saying is that no one has gone to town on the world like the UK did. And this is true.

Again, as detailed from the top to bottom of this thread, this is factually incorrect.

Further, you are not a participant in the "going to town." You are an aborigine in a cowed nation that has been ruled by foreigners for 300 years. The foreign ruling caste that toppled your indiginous government, butt raped your ancestors (literally, not figuratively - see excerpt in my post 3 messages up) and now runs the show there, are the ones who went to town on the world. Not you.

• Your fist-pumping is like watching a cow celebrate his butcher having a profitable year. It's a mindset that is beneficial to, and encouraged by, the ruling House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. It is what has kept the English servant-race meek and non-resistant to the Bavarian monarchs since a brief - and quickly quashed - attempt at rebellion in 1715.

There are some members of the English aborigines who haven't been bamboozled and fooled, though, like the wonderful Billy Bragg!

[thegreekdog]

Wait... is the UK a monarchy or a parlimentary republic?

[Symmetry]

Wait... is the UK a monarchy or a parlimentary republic?

Constitutional monarchy.

[barackattack]

See, when you say 'you had no hand in these achievements' it's much more engaging than when you say '1712, the Gothic legacy, blah, blah.' Well done

I'm just celebrating my heritage. I had no hand in it, sure. But then does anyone really have a hand in anything that they're proud of? Just enjoy it rather than picking holes in it

And yes, you might say that I'm celebrating my oppression under the Government (seeing as the monarchy has no power). But am I really oppressed? No.

[barackattack]

Wait... is the UK a monarchy or a parlimentary republic?

Constitutional monarchy.

Yeah, although the monarchy's powers are so limited that we're basically a republic figure-headed by the Queen.

[saxitoxin]

I'm just celebrating my heritage.

Again, it's not your heritage.

What you're doing is akin to a full-blood Navajo Indian carving a statue of a U.S. Cavalryman - or a Zulu parading around in a costume of the Natal Mounted Police - and saying "I'm celebrating my heritage!" You're celebrating your servitude.

Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, her homosexual rapist son Charles, the balding inbred grandson William, the illegitimate child Harry, and their Occupation Authorities, whom you so admire, is not your heritage. These people -- Prince Franz, Duke Max, and the young Count Joseph (the exiled remnants of the indiginous English monarchy overthrown by invading German troops 300 years ago) -- are your heritage:

[thegreekdog]

Wait... is the UK a monarchy or a parlimentary republic?

Constitutional monarchy.

Yeah, although the monarchy's powers are so limited that we're basically a republic figure-headed by the Queen.

So............. does it matter whether your monarch is German, English, Dutch, French, American or fucking Chinese?

[thegreekdog]

Yours are clearly dredged from the appendix of a tediously obscure encyclopaedia.

I've skimmed Saxi's encyclopaedia, it's called Trolling for Experts. I barely understood what I glimpsed at, way way too technical for me.

Saxitoxin is by far the most entertaining poster in the history of posting.

[barackattack]

Let's assume that your charming little story about 1715 is true (and not the massive lie that it is). By 1715 the UK was running a parliamentary system with a constitutional monarchy. Power was no longer in the hands of the monarch, and so any change in monarchs would be irrelevant. The shots would still be being called by an English parliament.

So yes, it is my heritage. You're just mad because you're harbouring resentment for your own country of origin.

So............. does it matter whether your monarch is German, English, Dutch, French, American or fucking Chinese?

No real difference whatsoever.

[saxitoxin]

Let's assume that your charming little story about 1715 is true (and not the massive lie that it is). By 1715 the UK was running a parliamentary system with a constitutional monarchy. Power was no longer in the hands of the monarch, and so any change in monarchs would be irrelevant.

lmao

[barackattack]

Let's assume that your charming little story about 1715 is true (and not the massive lie that it is). By 1715 the UK was running a parliamentary system with a constitutional monarchy. Power was no longer in the hands of the monarch, and so any change in monarchs would be irrelevant.

This is sad you don't even know the history of your own country.

Online source please.

Why are you sad? It's not my country, according to you. We are just talking about events I had no hand in that involve people of no relevance to me. Therefore I need not know about this.

[saxitoxin]

Let's assume that your charming little story about 1715 is true (and not the massive lie that it is). By 1715 the UK was running a parliamentary system with a constitutional monarchy. Power was no longer in the hands of the monarch, and so any change in monarchs would be irrelevant.

This is sad you don't even know the history of your own country.

Online source please.

One can't prove a negative but I know they don't teach this in Milton Keynes (too busy with the teen pregnancy prevention classes, I believe) so I edited my post to a simple "lmao." (see above)

[barackattack]

Online source please.

One can't prove a negative but I know they don't teach this in Milton Keynes (too busy with the teen pregnancy prevention classes, I believe) so I edited my post to a simple "lmao." (see above)

You know that 'you can't prove a negative' is a false statement, right?

[saxitoxin]

Online source please.

One can't prove a negative but I know they don't teach this in Milton Keynes (too busy with the teen pregnancy prevention classes, I believe) so I edited my post to a simple "lmao." (see above)

You know that 'you can't prove a negative' is a false statement, right?

Incorrect. It's only false if dealing with a proof of contradiction, which you failed to offer.

Listen, kid, give it up. Aren't you late for that fancy night-out you'd promised your prego girlfriend Li'l JoJo or did they finally find out your 7 year old brother Basil is the dad? Whatever, the bucket of chicken is probably getting cold. Grab your Will&Kate commemorative switchblade and run along.

[barackattack]

Okay, but you have to promise not to denigrate your homeland for at least a month.

Feel free to prove that London was invaded in 1715. Until then, I'll consider this event your wishful thinking (or maybe you're just playing 'coulda, shoulda, woulda'. When you picture it, are the Palatines wearing grey uniforms with eagle motifs?).

[saxitoxin]

Okay, but you have to promise not to denigrate your homeland for at least a month.

Feel free to prove that London was invaded in 1715. Until then, I'll consider this event your wishful thinking (or maybe your're just playing 'coulda, shoulda, woulda'. When you picture it, are the Palatines wearing grey uniforms with eagle motifs?).

You seriously want me to "prove" a common historical fact? Do they really not teach you about the raping and pillaging of Britain by the Brunswick occupation forces after the ascension of George I? This is as silly as asking me to "prove" a woman named Margaret Thatcher was PM.

Here, once you've finished reading this LMK and I'll assign a new book to your reading list:

• Sankey, Margaret Prisoners of the 1715 Rebellion: Preventing and Punishing Insurrection in Hanoverian Britain, Minnesota Press: St. Paul, 2005

[barackattack]

LOL.

William of Orange takes the English throne in the Glorious Revolution of 1688, when English Parliamentarians united with him to overthrow the constitutionally un-English, Catholic monarch James II.

William's descendent, Queen Anne, dies, and leaves the throne to George I (of the House of Brunswick-Luneburg).
300 years later, saxitoxin interprets this as the 'occupation' of Britain.

The Jacobites attempt to claim the throne from George I and are stopped.
300 years later, saxitoxin conveniently 'forgets' that the Jacobites - supporters of James II - were originally exiled at the will of the English.

The Brunswick-Luneburg house eventually dies out.
300 years later, saxitoxin fancies that this never happened.