Is this good? part II

fireedud · Post by **fireedud** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:36 pm

Check my first thread for why i need it. This is the second entry:

August 14,1891,
We have just left port about a day ago. We were crammed into a small room along with 17 people. The wallsand floor are dirty and the kid next to me has thrown up several time already. This is making me sick, how can anybody stand these conditions are beyond me. I can't really write too much now, it's too hard to not throw up onto this and avoid the pools of vomit at the same time.

Fircoal · Post by **Fircoal** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:39 pm

you should probably keep it to one thread.

0ojakeo0 · Post by **0ojakeo0** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:41 pm

has thrown up several times

fireedud · Post by **fireedud** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:45 pm

Fircoal wrote:you should probably keep it to one thread.

okay, next one I will.

Strife · Post by **Strife** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:45 pm

fireedud wrote:Check my first thread for why i need it. This is the second entry:

August 14, 1891,
We just left port about a day ago. We were crammed into a small room along with 17 people. The wallsand floor is dirty and the kid next to me has thrown up several times already. This is making me sick, how can anybody stand these conditions is beyond me. I can't really write too much now, it's too hard to not throw up onto this and avoid the pools of vomit at the same time.

I haven't read the original thread yet, but I corrected some errors you had, they have been bolded.

dacey · Post by **dacey** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:16 pm

I haven't read the other thread either, but it should be this:

how anybody can stand these conditions is beyond me.

FiveThreeEight · Post by **FiveThreeEight** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:24 pm

Why even try to correct the mistakes? There are too many.

fireedud · Post by **fireedud** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 10:21 am

I was mostly looking for content mistakes, not grammar.

Is this good? part II

Is this good? part II

Re: Is this good? part II