Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

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Robinette
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Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

Here in CC today we have 2 distinct groups...

Escalating players and Flat Rate/No Cards Players...

These 2 groups often disagree on many issues, such as which format requires the higher skill... I would like to take a moment to show definitively why this division exists... you see, Escalating players are Conservative by nature, while Liberals tend to prefer Flat Rate/No Cards... the history of these 2 groups dates back many thousands of years... To better understand this division within CC, one should closely examine the History of Liberals and Conservatives...

The division of the human family into these two distinct branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, a few hundred years after the flood... back when humans coexisted as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.

In the single greatest pivotal event of societal evolution, beer was invented. This innovation was both the foundation of modern civilization and also triggered the separation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups... Liberals and Conservatives.

You see, once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture... Since neither the glass bottle or aluminum can had yet been invented, it was necessary to stick pretty close to the brewery... And that's why villages were formed.

Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while drinking beer... This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned how to live off conservatives by showing up for the BBQs every night and doing women's work like sewing, fetching and hair dressing... This was the beginning of the liberal movement.

Early liberal achievements included the domestication of cats, invention of group therapy and democratic voting to see how to divide the beer and meat that the conservatives provided. Over time, liberals did not produce anything as they preferred to "govern" the producers and decide what was to be done with the production. Liberal men stopped caring for their women once they discovered that their women had more testosterone than they did. Liberals liked deviant sex and want others to like it too. Their first successful city governments were Sodom, where the first Flat Rate games were played, and Gomorrah, where No Cards games on every conceivable map were played as an open spectacle. Sodomites and Gomorrahites would become hostile if you failed to recognize the difference between them and their games, and this remarkable fact remains true with their decedents to this very day.


Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber-jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, escalating players, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore Conservative Escalating Player. A hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting America was attempting to find the owner of a huge cattle ranch. He rode up to one of the ranch hands, and inquired,


"Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me where I might locate your master?"

To which the cowboy replied,

"That sumbitch ain't been born yet".
Last edited by Robinette on Sat Aug 09, 2008 7:03 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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ParadiceCity9
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by ParadiceCity9 »

What if we like all of them, and also don't drink beer?
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cena-rules
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by cena-rules »

I am a Liberal who prefers escalating (means you likely have a low score)

read me like a book, robin :D
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by owenshooter »

i don't think you can combine flat rate and no card players. seperate groups. i play no cards... come on robin, i know you just discovered there are other maps besides classic, and a new thing called team games, but you must realize that no card and flat rate players are as seperate and distinct as escalating.. ha!!-0
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

ParadiceCity9 wrote:What if we like all of them, and also don't drink beer?


That would be option 3
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Timminz »

A liberal who loves beer and escalating.... while my score is "low" now, I blame the fact that I haven't been playing as much escalating lately.
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by owenshooter »

Robinette wrote:
ParadiceCity9 wrote:What if we like all of them, and also don't drink beer?


That would be option 3

or, it could mean that you are underage in the country you live in, making it illegal to purchase beer. we must remember the several different age groups that make up this wonderful community we are all a part of, and be sensitive to those issues.-0
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by qeee1 »

I feel like I've read this before...
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Robinette
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

owenshooter wrote:i don't think you can combine flat rate and no card players. seperate groups. i play no cards... come on robin, i know you just discovered there are other maps besides classic, and a new thing called team games, but you must realize that no card and flat rate players are as seperate and distinct as escalating.. ha!!-0


Did you read the post, or just the poll?
ParadiceCity9
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by ParadiceCity9 »

Robinette wrote:
ParadiceCity9 wrote:What if we like all of them, and also don't drink beer?


That would be option 3


But I do know the difference...
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

qeee1 wrote:I feel like I've read this before...


From Wikipedia...

Déjà vu (pronounced /ˈdeɪʒɑː ˈvuː/ (help·info); French /deʒa vy/ (help·info) "already seen"; also called paramnesia, from Greek παρα para, "near" + μνήμη mnēmē, "memory") is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past)

;)
Last edited by Robinette on Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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owenshooter
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by owenshooter »

Robinette wrote:Did you read the post, or just the poll?

i read them both, and you got lazy. you can't group/lump flat rate and no card players. they are as distinct a group as escalating or team players... you need to go edit your post and and like another 2,000 words to make it more accurate. :D -0
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by hwhrhett »

heh, seems like the kind of diatribe that belongs in chatbox, if your gonna bash political views. tongue in cheek or not.
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Robinette
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

owenshooter wrote:
Robinette wrote:Did you read the post, or just the poll?

i read them both, and you got lazy. you can't group/lump flat rate and no card players. they are as distinct a group as escalating or team players... you need to go edit your post and and like another 2,000 words to make it more accurate. :D -0


Fine!

It has been done...
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Shatners Bassoon »

I enjoy no cards and escalating as opposed to flat rate...so that blows your theory right out the water :ugeek:
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Shatners Bassoon »

....more beer please......... :?
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Robinette
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

Opps... i added another poll option and it cleared the votes... sorry...

But I think i'll just kill the poll and let the post stand on it's own...

Oh, and be sure to catch the rewrite in the original post that was necessary to appease owen... :mrgreen:
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Pedronicus »

Neville Chamberlain played flat rate.
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by e_i_pi »

Archduke Franz Ferdinand sucked at Assassin.
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Robinette
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

Pedronicus wrote:Neville Chamberlain played flat rate.


:lol: and only ever got 4 army sets...



e_i_pi wrote:Archduke Franz Ferdinand sucked at Assassin.


strange quote coming from down under... eh? :?
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Dangerous-Die »

that is the FUNNIEST and most accurate post i have read on CC EVER.

Proud to be an escalator single player!!
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Frop
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Frop »

Really liked the introduction, the 'conclusion' and the ab-so-lu-te-ly hilarious joke which you so cleverly added to the original 'circulating e-mail' which can be found here, here and actually all over the net. :)
Last edited by Frop on Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by bbqpenguin »

i know you've posted that conservatives vs liberals thing at least from you robin, and if i've seen it once it means you've posted it at least 6 or 7 times in various threads already. regaurdless, it's delicious. i wouldn't mind seeing it again
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by Robinette »

bbqpenguin wrote:i know you've posted that conservatives vs liberals thing at least from you robin, and if i've seen it once it means you've posted it at least 6 or 7 times in various threads already. regaurdless, it's delicious. i wouldn't mind seeing it again


heheee... only twice, the other time it was a bit out of place and under-appreciated...
Kinda like me in a no cards game... lol
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Re: Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards

Post by MeDeFe »

What's a "liberal" and what's a "conservative"?

I'll have a beer.
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