Post-A-Joke

spring1 · Post by **spring1** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:09 pm

Found this one in a magazine...not great, but I got a small chuckle out of it.

"The U.S. Postal Service issued a George W. Bush stamp. It soon discovered that the stamps were not sticking to the envelopes, so it established a commission to investigate the matter. The commission reported the following findings:

1. The stamps met all federal regulations.
2. Nothing was wrong with the adhesive.
3. People were just spitting on the wrong side."

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:11 pm

BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:12 pm

Home Alone With Michael Jackson

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:13 pm

ZeoEmpire wrote:Home Alone With Michael Jackson

SEE, now that's funny....making fun of celebrities is funny :lol:

Nappy Bone Apart · Post by **Nappy Bone Apart** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:14 pm

3 rabbis walk into a bar.

The 4th ducked.

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:14 pm

P Gizzle wrote:
ZeoEmpire wrote:Home Alone With Michael Jackson

SEE, now that's funny....making fun of celebrities is funny

thank you

spring1 · Post by **spring1** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:17 pm

Nappy Bone Apart wrote:3 rabbis walk into a bar.

The 4th ducked.

spring1 · Post by **spring1** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:19 pm

P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P! :wink:

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:21 pm

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:22 pm

spring1 wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P!

ok, i'll try.......uh........ why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from this horrible joke! :wink:

reverend_kyle · Post by **reverend_kyle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:17 pm

spring1 wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P!

I find his ignorance funny.

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:57 pm

reverend_kyle wrote:
spring1 wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P!

I find his ignorance funny.

whose? mine or his?

reverend_kyle · Post by **reverend_kyle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:02 pm

P Gizzle wrote:
reverend_kyle wrote:
spring1 wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P!

I find his ignorance funny.

whose? mine or his?

yours.. his joke is everything our country was founded on.

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:09 pm

reverend_kyle wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:
reverend_kyle wrote:
spring1 wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:BOO! I don't care if he's Bush, you don't make fun of the US President unless you are a cast member of Saturday Night Live....then's it ok

Try and control your zealous patriotism and keep within the original confines of the thread, P!

I find his ignorance funny.

whose? mine or his?

yours.. his joke is everything our country was founded on.

i was just kidding.....i make fun of a Bush a lot, even though i do believe we shouldn't. we should always support our leader....even if we dont like him

hawkeye · Post by **hawkeye** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:12 pm

Welcome to our OOL. Note that there is no "p" in it. Let's keep it that way.

KoolBak · Post by **KoolBak** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 9:02 pm

Two guys are talking...one says to the other:

"Hey..I had one of those Freudian Slips the other day. This gorgeous waitress was taking my order for lunch and I say "Yes I'd like some Fish and tits"! Ooops! It was really embarassing".

The other guy says:

"Yeah..I had one the other day too...I was having breakfast with my wife and meant to say "Please pass the orange juice" but instead said "You miserable byotch, you ruined my life!"

Talk about embarassing.....

Machiavelli · Post by **Machiavelli** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 9:12 pm

I've heard that one but I like it :lol:

Sammy gags · Post by **Sammy gags** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 9:43 pm

wuts the difference between snowmen & snowomen

snowballs

wcaclimbing · Post by **wcaclimbing** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 11:11 pm

whats the difference between hendy and a bag of poo?

the bag...

gavin_sidhu · Post by **gavin_sidhu** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:27 am

lol thats harsh wca.

reverend_kyle · Post by **reverend_kyle** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:58 am

gavin_sidhu wrote:lol thats harsh wca.

and not funny, thats like 2nd grade shit.. or something youd see from hawkeye(hes 11)

anyways so this kid goes to his dad and was like dad I had sex with a teacher...his dad got all proud of him and was like wow great job, let me buy you a bike to celebrate... So he buys it and he's like do you want to ride it home and the boy was like no.. my butt still hurts from the sex.

wcaclimbing · Post by **wcaclimbing** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:41 am

i changed your name to hendy in my joke is it better now?

Kenny_Smooth · Post by **Kenny_Smooth** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:06 am

why did the rooster cross the road?

It was Fuckin the chicken. :lol:

Ronaldinho · Post by **Ronaldinho** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:41 am

Why did the man cross the road?

To get to the other side har har har :lol:

spring1 · Post by **spring1** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:19 am

Not one of the great ones...or even good ones for that matter...but for those military folk out there...

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma’am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature." "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sergeant Major’s short reply was, "Yes, ma’am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it’s only 2130 now."