Secrets thread

[Army of GOD]

HAha whoops. Yea, I was originally gonna try the chromatic, but I realized I didn't remember them all and forgot to erase that part. Oh well.

New secret: Strawberries are my fav food

[john9blue]

New secret: Strawberries are my fav food

OHHHH *covers mouth and points towards aog*

[Army of GOD]

THEYRE FUCKING DELICIOUS.

[IcePack]

My secret: I enjoy doing weird experiments with food. Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

This would be great if it were an original (best of craigslist iirc). So does that make your secret that you were using it as your secret, but wasn't?

My secret: I saw someone cheating on our spelling tests in 4th grade (I sat behind and to the right of her) I told on her. Then adapted her method, and made it better and cheated for (nearly) the rest of the school year's spelling tests.

[jay_a2j]

Secret: Obama is a one term president.




oh who am I kidding, that's not a secret

[Army of GOD]

God dammit jay. GET OUT OF MY THREAD IF YOURE GOING TO SPEW POLITICAL BULLSHIT HERE

[Army of GOD]

Philosophy notes last week:

[Army of GOD]

I understand where the banana comes from...my Differential Equations teacher discussed how the Theory of Linearity was like the Theory of Bananas: it's either a banana or not a banana.

I don't really get anything else...other than Pop-tarts not being real fruit.

[Queen_Herpes]

Pop-Tarts original name was Top-Farts. True. Don't tell anyone, though...












.










...its a secret.

[Fircoal]

Eevee was the first Pokemon I ever knew about (a friend brought his Pokedex to Church School one day).

The first ones I really knew about were Charmander and Pikachu. (two of mah favs to this day x3)

[tkr4lf]

I sometimes like to rub my nipples while I masturbate.

[john9blue]

Threads like this make me feel normal, if only for a brief, fleeting moment.

[tkr4lf]

I recently gained my red wings...ugh.

[tkr4lf]

I once had a dream where I brutally murdered my enitre family. It was not a pleasant one.

[Army of GOD]

For the longest time, when I was younger, I thought the phrase "primma donna" was spelled "pre-madonna" (before madonna? wtf?) and "lactose intolerant" was "lactose and tolerant".

You should've seen my o-face when I realized what they really were. O O O

[Maugena]

I recently gained my red wings...ugh.

You went red wings down on a girl?

[tkr4lf]

I recently gained my red wings...ugh.

You went red wings down on a girl?

Yup. I'll never do that again.

[john9blue]

For the longest time, when I was younger, I thought the phrase "primma donna" was spelled "pre-madonna" (before madonna? wtf?) and "lactose intolerant" was "lactose and tolerant".

You should've seen my o-face when I realized what they really were. O O O

I said "for all intensive purposes" up until a few years ago.

[DAZMCFC]

I sometimes like to rub my nipples while I masturbate.

damn, I thought you were a woman until I read the rest of your secrets.

[tkr4lf]

I sometimes like to rub my nipples while I masturbate.

damn, I thought you were a woman until I read the rest of your secrets.

hahaha, nope, that's what makes it a BIG secret lol

[hairy potter]

i carefully study children on the bus so that i'll have a clear mental image later when i'm jerking off

[TA1LGUNN3R]

This thread is awesome.

Secret:

At 22 years of age, when walking on a sidewalk, I still have to avoid walking on the cracks. I get really uncomfortable if I actually step on one. The worst part is that I have to watch my paces carefully so that I don't step on them, but I have to do it subtly so that no one around notices, because they might think I'm crazy. (What would you think if you saw an adult man blatantly trying to avoid cracks and divisions in the sidewalk?)

[Army of GOD]

I don't avoid the cracks, but I do count how many steps I take per square and try to find out how big they are compared to my steps.

[john9blue]

I find that it evens out eventually; if you step on a crack with one foot, you will step on a crack with another foot later on, and the with the first foot again roughly the same number of squares later. Statistically, you will step on the same number of cracks with both feet on an infinite sidewalk. If asymmetry occurs, then there are ways to correct for human error (such as variations in step length) so that your crack/foot ratio remains bilateral.

[notyou2]

I will let you all in on a little secret..................................................



























Stay off the crack dudes.